I've always liked this phrase, and variations on it ("Like Yosemite Sam on amphetamines" is another good one). Anyhow, it would appear one can actually set one's hair on fire now... and pay for the privilege! In USA Today, an ad for the "HairMax LaserComb." I love it, just the name makes it great, doesn't matter if it does anything or not.

The ad copy says it "Energizes your hair to become thicker, fuller, healthier without any side effects from chemicals or supplements."

It was selected as one of Time Magazine's "Inventions of the Year." Probably while they were drinking the same batch of Kool-Aid they imbibed when they put the finishing touches on their merger with AOL.com, a.k.a., to AOL-TimeWarner shareholders at least, "the death star."

Anyhow, the HairMax LaserComb is only $645 with easy payments available! Go here to get yours.

Oh, and make sure to take a "before" photo so the plastic surgeon can have something to work from when she tries to remake your scalp and forehead!

Some years ago, in the Shoreham Hotel in Washington, D.C., me and my best friend had our hair burned off by an Italian barber who was one of the few such stylists still practicing this skill, which originated in Sicily. I am not making this up: we have Polaroids to prove it! The guy used special long wooden tapers to shorten and fuse the ends of the hair shafts. Very cool (?). The smell of my keratin burning, and the smoke wafting in front of my face, were somewhat disconcerting to this first-time client, I must admit.