We pretty much all know that Saudi Arabia is a smug powder keg waiting to explode under the corrupt, venal, hypocritical, terrorist-breeding, terrorist-appeasing, misogynistic autocratic rule of Prince Asshole and his 999 Wahhabi Thieves. Thank God (Allah has nothing to do with it) we are pulling our military out of the Kingdom of False Friends, the shithole in the desert.

In a key demonstration of their ineffectual shocking retardation and mummery, last week the Saudi religious police banned Barbie:

The Committee for the Propagation of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, as the religious police are officially known, lists the dolls on a section of its Web site devoted to items deemed offensive to the conservative Saudi interpretation of Islam.

"Jewish Barbie dolls, with their revealing clothes and shameful postures, accessories and tools are a symbol of decadence to the perverted West. Let us beware of her dangers and be careful," said a poster on the site.

The poster, plastered with pictures of Barbie in short dresses and tight pants, and with a few of her accessories, reads: "A strange request. A little girl asks her mother: Mother, I want jeans, a low-cut shirt, and a swimsuit like Barbie."

Such posters are distributed to schools and hung in the streets by the religious police, or muttawa, an independent body affiliated with the office of the Prime Minister. [AP]

"Office of the prime minister": this is the goddamned Saudi government oozing such blatantly anti-Semitic, nonsensical twaddle. How did the uber-WASPish Barbie become "Jewish"? Rumor has it that Barbie is the illegitimate granddaughter of an Elder of Zion.

An exhibition of all the violating items is found in the holy city of Medina, and mobile tours go around to schools and other public areas in the kingdom.

The muttawa act as a monitoring and punishing agency, propagating conservative Islamic beliefs according to the teachings of the puritan Wahhabi sect, adhered to the kingdom since the 18th century, and enforcing strict moral code.

The muttawa patrol the streets of the kingdom, preventing men from mingling with women, enforcing strict Islamic dress for women, chasing worshippers late for prayers, and punishing shop keepers who stay open during prayer hours. They sometimes work with a police officer who can enforce legal punishments on people deemed violators.

I think the Voice of America or Mattel or the CIA or someone should airdrop thousands of Secret Agent Barbies down on the Tragic Kingdom and have them seduce the ticks into submission.