We Want Your Soul!

Written by The Theory
Published September 16, 2003

(Thank you, Relevant Magazine for posting this link so I could steal it!)

If you're like me... or even if you're not... I'm sure you've wondered just how much that soul of yours is worth. I mean, regardless of any religious mumbo-jumbo, is there some way to at least PROFIT from having a soul?

Now you can find out! We Want Your Soul will give you a quote on how much your specific soul is worth after you take a quick survey!

My results: Your soul is worth £41871. For your peace of mind, 17% of people have a purer soul than you.

Whatever. Haha!

Keep reading for information and comments on this article, and add some feedback of your own!
We Want Your Soul!
Published: September 16, 2003
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Section: Culture
Writer: The Theory
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Comments

#1 — September 16, 2003 @ 15:11PM — Rodney Welch [URL]

I hit the same 17 percent results. Scam!

#2 — September 16, 2003 @ 15:33PM — BRICKLAYER

46% of the population has a purer soul than me? Yeah, I guess that's about right. Suddenly I am depressed. Again.

#3 — September 16, 2003 @ 15:35PM — The Theory

hey... at least you're above the 50% mark.

#4 — September 16, 2003 @ 15:50PM — Dew [URL]

Should I be concerned about this:

Your soul is worth £4346. For your peace of mind, 95% of people have a purer soul than you.

#5 — September 16, 2003 @ 15:58PM — The Theory

mwahahaha. you're eeeeevil.

#6 — September 16, 2003 @ 16:04PM — Dew [URL]

I swear its not on purpose, or at least not all the time ;-)

#7 — September 16, 2003 @ 16:15PM — The Theory

haha. anyone know how to convert the pound into the dollar?

#8 — September 16, 2003 @ 16:27PM — Dew [URL]

Theory, go here

#9 — September 16, 2003 @ 17:26PM — Tom Johnson [URL]

67% of the population are purer than me. I disagree.

#10 — September 16, 2003 @ 17:31PM — Eric Olsen

"Your soul is worth £19866. For your peace of mind, 48% of people have a purer soul than you"

A) socialist vegan do-gooder pansy smug effete Brit twits.

B) sell my soul for $31K?? Are you beyond redemption? Do you think I'm a freaking Haitian? Add four zeros and I'll think about it.

#11 — September 17, 2003 @ 12:38PM — Michelle [URL]

Have to try that instantly. What a weird idea!

#12 — September 17, 2003 @ 12:53PM — The Theory

eric... c'mon! what are you using your soul for?!

#13 — September 17, 2003 @ 12:59PM — Eric Olsen

ghosting my machine

#14 — September 23, 2003 @ 13:56PM — Brianne

Thank goodness someone else was well into the 90% I dont feel so bad with 92% anymore!

#15 — October 28, 2003 @ 05:33AM — carly eastwood

72% of people have a purer soul than me. mine is valued at £11745. i think that it a freaky idea i would not sell my soul for any amount!

#16 — August 1, 2005 @ 19:12PM — tiffie

so where do i sell my soul? is there like an age u have to be? im 15 gonna be 16 in like 2 or so moths email me if any one knows thanks

#17 — October 11, 2005 @ 20:53PM — XeRoG

How does one go about buying a soul. I mean suppose you bought someones soul and then they died, are you out the money or do they have reimbursment programs? And what about life insurance? How can you actually provide someone with your soul after payment is made? I need answers to these questions before i buy/sell a soul. anyone with answers please let me know. Thanks!

#18 — November 9, 2005 @ 16:01PM — danielle

I think you people talking about selling souls are crazy. This is your soul we're talking about.

#19 — April 23, 2006 @ 11:12AM — islam

as much as you people discuste me i have to say its a very good sales pitch "soul for money" even thow u dont own your soul lol fear the allmighty allah is the all knowing and the all seeing . be ready to be judged before him you infordells

#20 — October 5, 2006 @ 09:40AM — i don't want u to have my soul

sick and twisted

#21 — October 20, 2006 @ 15:13PM — yo mama

All of you are retarded...the company is just some piece of s*it company who doesnt know what they are talking about. sounds like ahmed and muhammad are behind this one...

#22 — October 20, 2006 @ 17:14PM — zingzing

#s 18, 19, 20 and 21... yer idiots.

#23 — August 1, 2007 @ 23:04PM — Esteban Price

jesus is te best thing ever !!! i got more money than everyone !!! i am the owner of all the hilton hotels in ecuador !!! you now why !! cause i got jesus !!! he help me !! and not giving anything !!!

#24 — October 7, 2007 @ 10:41AM — KC

You know I believe in Jesus and have walked in his works for most of my life... Thinking and doing for others above myself and I still am in poverty and feel that is where I should be. Jesus lived in proverty.... Those of you who feel as though you have been blessed by the lord need to actually look at yourselves again. Are you living with just what you need or do you have more than you need. Are you giving back to others who are less fortunate. The bible I read says that the only ones in the Lords time who had money were those who condemned him. God's people were poor when it came to money and material things but rich in love which is what created their faith. and its what the Lord Jesus is all about "Love" what would you give to someone you love? Aren't we as children of Christ to love all mankind?... The lord provides what you need if he has blessed you with more than what you need, then it is more than likely for you to do something with.If you have chosen to keep it all for yourself instead of sharing or using it to help others just above your needs then boy howdy are you going to have allot to answer to. No one person needs 10 bedrooms and 20 bathrooms and a so on and so on... unless you are offering all that space to those less fortunate in your community. All material things will stay in this world and not travel to the new world with you. So why is all of it so much more important then your brothers and sisters in Christ who are desperate enough to consider selling their soul to get out of the situation they are in? Turning away the Lords children is probably the biggest sin this world could allow to occur. Good bad or otherwise... we are not the judge, we are here to continue Christ's teachings, how can we do that if we are not living his example by giving to others in his name. Are you willing to die on the cross for your brothers and sisters?

#25 — January 21, 2008 @ 20:38PM — jon

hey Kc , havent you heard? by going around preaching all the good you do and how less you have is called self-righteousness also a big sin..its in that very same bible you read..you might as well sell the soul your screwed too!! lol.. dont you get it by now? everythings a sin in the bible, its a political scam, just like priests not being able to marry, married couples not being able to use contra-ceptives..all scams to exert more control, the church has been doing it since the crusades, its nothing new, just more people are waking up to it..these laws were not made by god, man made these laws, same kind that made the we want your soul site, both just as stupid

#26 — May 28, 2008 @ 10:55AM — Shawn

here kc your a stupid retarded fuxk if you preach all that shit. we dont believe in that shit so just go off and pray u fucking weirdo

#27 — June 24, 2008 @ 17:22PM — D

Yeah....id maybe consider it for a couple of mill but for 30k no ways. They might have all sorts of legal rights over your soul, and what is the soul limited to?
crazy shit
Ill lease my soul though;) up for rent

#28 — July 5, 2008 @ 16:57PM — lol

Self rituosness is like jelousy with the halo...Stay away from that.

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