This sounds like an episode from some television show, CSI for the gay guy or something.

But there is still a very strong residual element of queasiness about the nuts and bolts of "nonstandard" sexual activity - man, I just don't want to hear about it or be forced to think about it. In theory it's fine with me, in reality I'm grossed out.

I didn't really "ick" at the story at all, perhaps because there was so little of it unique to homosexuals. That is, many people (including me) would feel distinctly uncomfortable having to talk about something like that with siblings and parents, regardless of the flavor of the video. I could relate (sort of), and so I cringed, but just at the shared pain.

In fact, I don't really want to hear the details of anybody's sex life if those details are not within a context where I expect it, like erotica or Loveline. Brian can enjoy himself all he wants to, but it doesn't take prudishness to realize that comment #2 is just juvenile and uncouth.

Then again, I read Savage Love every week.

Brian will be Brian, I expected, um, worse from the dramatist. I agree that the emotions are common to all and I could certainly relate on that level. My point was that while I do empathize with the writer, his robust thoughts on gay porno - porno really being the operative word here since any kind of porno objectifies the participants and minimizes their humanity, ie emphasizes the mechanical - took the story out of the emotional, commonly human, range, and put it into the physical, and I found myself taken aback and somewhat put off by it. The dichotomy was what I was trying point out.

Don't worry, Eric. The night is young, and you might just get the worse for which you've been waiting!

I think the heavy emphasis on the gay stuff served to make the story hit home for those who would otherwise say, Hey! You're an adult! They can just deal!

This story is setting off my bullshit detector. I don't know this guy, and maybe it's totally accurate, but this whole story doesn't ring true to me at all.

For starters, I've never heard of pornographers pursuing users of P2P, not EVER. They've generally pursued a more creative path of purposely giving out free samples over the net.

The ISP would not be giving out information on their customers without a court order. Would the courts even be willing to do that for porno?

Then there is the denouement, where he gets amnesty if he'll just buy the video. No. They would not be going to the bother and expense of getting lawyers and court orders just to let them off the hook by buying a video. The whole point of these things is to make an example of them, which point is totally lost if all they have to do is spend maybe 50 bucks on a video if they get caught.

It sounded very odd to me at first, but I explained it away by noting that the ISP sent the letter, not the copyright holder. Still, that does make the point about buying video make no sense, then.

Ah well, typical nonsense story, but it fills up column inches...

As a teenager, I had a very tough couple of years being unsure whether I was gay (a word not used much then). Until I decided "not".
But one thing I got out of that feller's story -- if it's straight up and not as Al cynically suspects, bullshit -- was what I'd imagine still to be a more open mother-son relationship that most.
Would that my own luck in being able to speak freely and honestly to my kid, and vice versa, lasts throughout her tortuous teens.

Actually Al, that is exactly the path followed by one gay porn company - I don't remember the name - and it was a fairly big deal on the music tech mailing list I'm on, so I don't doubt that aspect. They tracked down downloaders through their ISPs, said naughty naughty, and gave them the option of buying what they downloaded instead of being sued or otherwise reamed (sorry). Since this is not something most people - other than the author of the story - want to see publicized, they gratefully agreed to pay for the video(s). Some see it as extortion, some see it as enlightened.

But it's real.

Really? ISPs are co-operating with this kind of nonsense without any kind of court order? Please, tell us more. Enquiring minds want to know.

Titan Media, Al, read it and weep. Gee, thanks for the DMCA, guys.

"But there is still a very strong residual element of queasiness about the nuts and bolts of "nonstandard" sexual activity..."

Usually among the anti-gay people. It is strange that they seem quite fascinated imagining what gay people do in bed.

"...man, I just don't want to hear about it or be forced to think about it."

Nobody that I know of is forcing anyone to think about it. And, if you don't want to hear about it, stop listening to the anti-gay people. I haven't heard of too many gay people telling others what they do in bed.

Raj, I understand your indignation, but my response was exactly generated by a gay person writing about their experiences - that was my point. And I wasn't trying to justify my reaction, just throwing it out for discussion.

"I understand your indignation..."

Mresponse was not intended to be an indication of indignation. It was intended to be a suggestion. The fact is that, if you don't want to hear about what other people do in their sexual activities, don't listen.

I'm gay, and I don't particularly care what other people do to have sex. So I don't listen. Maybe that's why I tend to believe that people who DO concern themselves about what other people do in bed need to get a life. They have severe problems.

I guess you're missing my point: I wasn't looking for the information, I don't want the information, I'm not interested in the information. My point was that those who are looking for equal rights, protections under the law, gay marriage, etc should perhaps take into account is this underlying ick factor present in someone who is wholly sympathetic to their cause.

Eric, I'm not sure why this story specifically would have triggered your "ick factor." There's nothing in it at all detailing or even referring to any particular sex act. The guy doesn't even give the filename or title of the video.

Again not the point - I think I give up