No, not an advance in long-acting medication, but... toilet paper, and the people who would control our access to it. It seems controlled delivery is second on the list of biggest gripes about public restrooms. First is "an empty dispenser, the biggest bummer at 33%; right behind at 23% is when the tissue breaks or stops before the desired amount is dispensed." Thus writes Jared Sandberg in his most enlightening column in today's Wall St. Journal.

"Controlled delivery was hampered to some degree in 1990 by the Americans with Disabilities Act, which stipulates that 'the force required to activate controls shall be no greater than 5 lbf,' or pounds of force. But the law doesn't apply to nonwheelchair-accessible toilets... and pre-1990 dispensers abound."

"In a place where employees should be able to put their worries momentarily behind [!] them, they have to engage in an undignified tug of war with an obstinate dispenser. These armored devices provide an unsatisfactory customer experience. The... paper is as absorbent and silky as a roof shingle."

Alas, I attempted to visit toiletpaperworld.com, THE source for all things toiletpaper, but Safari doesn't go there. If you have Internet Explorer, have fun!