Special Children - Fear, Joy, Pain
Published August 28, 2003
Conclusion number one is that any life is precious. No matter that his life was hard when measured by the yardstick of normalcy. He was a happy child and deserved his time in the sun. As parents, we owe them the chance to be as much as they can be - no matter what the hardships. In case you haven't noticed, this is a shameless plug for the pro-life position.
Conclusion number two is that just as parents are willing to risk their lives for their children, so must they be prepared for infinite hurt by their loss. It is not in the natural order for a child to precede his parents in death. The happy memories of other loved ones will in time, be just that - happy memories. The happy memories of your children will be forever bittersweet. That is a price that parents must pay for their joy.
This was an extremely painful loss for my friend, as any loss of a child would be to any parent. I have to imagine that the writing process, as he explains, was extremely cathartic and helped conjure the memories, images and feelings that one holds so dear when a loved one departs.
This process of reading and comprehending the entire matter has brought me to tears innumerable times, and compounding my feelings of sympathy, empathy and plain old selfish concern is a letter I received from another writer who wished not to be named: he too lost a special child.
Both of these men were able to put their experiences into such vivid and captivating detail that I was overwhelmed with a desire to crawl out of my skin and slip away to a place where nothing horrible happens, no one feels pain and children never die - an imaginary world that does not exist.
As I move into my seventh month of pregnancy I am gripped with the knowledge that there are no promises or guarantees of health for our new baby. I do my best to take care of myself and hope that God's grace and the genetic role of the dice fall in my favor. All tests so far lead to "yes." But again, there are NO guarantees in these matters. Add the discomfort of pregnancy itself and the hormones that control your moods every second of the day and it's amazing that pregnant women don't lose it, and by "it," I mean my already fragile mind.
Dawn Olsen is a veteran blogger who proudly supports the guy who publishes this awesome site. She's also an avid reader of high quality tabloid fare, enjoys gardening and scatological skywriting.
- Special Children - Fear, Joy, Pain
- Published: August 28, 2003
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- Section: Culture
- Writer: Dawn Olsen
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Very sad, powerful and hopeful too. We can all handle much more than we think we can, but I pray to be never put in that position, as were your friends who have handled it so well.
Sometimes I feel guilty for avoiding material like this. I know that these types of experiences are realities for many people in this world, but I usually don't have the strength to listen, let alone go out and read something like this. I hope that if anything like this ever comes down my path I will have half the strength of some of the people who deal with it, let alone be able to write about it after the fact.
Excellent post, Dawn.
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Wonderful post. Very touching, Dawn, very touching.