A 50-year-old woman was killed by a great white shark a couple of days ago at Avila Beach near San Luis Obispo, California. The woman was reportedly bit by the shark as she was swimming with seals near a pier at the beach. The incident prompted scientists to offer tips on how to avoid being bitten by a great white.

Having lived in California for so long, I know the drill. The most important rule is don't swim with the shark food, especially seals, sea lions, and otters. If you see any of these swimming near you, get the fuck away from them. Also, try not to look like them. Choose bright colored wet suits and fins over all black ones. This will help you, assuming there's enough light for the hungry shark to distinguish you from a seal.

Actually, getting attacked by a shark is like winning the lottery, let me explain. Beach attendance in California hovers close to 100 million per year, but from 1990 through 2002 there were only 34 shark attacks. And only one of those was fatal, until yesterday. In contrast, during the same period, there were 289 shark attacks in Florida, with four of them being fatal. Considering these statistics, the odds are 38,235,294 to 1 of getting attacked by a shark off the coast of California. So, good luck, and may the seals not be with you!