Don't Do This Remake
Published August 20, 2003
Of course there has to be a girl involved. She's (Mercy is her name) played by Deborah Van Valkenburgh, best remembered for her role as 'the other sister' on Ted Knight's 'Too Close For Comfort.' Everybody remembers 'Sara', the blonde sister with the great rack. They should have gotten her. Then again, at one point the Warriors are contemplating pulling a 'train' on Mercy and stop to fight...oops...bop. Nobody would have believed they'd push Sara aside just for a silly bopping session.
The essence of the movie however, is its' surroundings, props and complete lack of gang fashion (or naming convention for that matter.
One of the most interesting things about the movie, is that aside from the gang members and cops, there's almost no other people on the streets. New York is the city that never sleeps. However, in this movie, it's the city that slipped into a coma. Two people make appearances in the movie and they're both white. In addition, they're white people in places that no white person would go in New York that time of night.
To truly appreciate the cheesiness (it's a good cheesiness though), you have to take a look at some of the other gangs:
First up are The Baseball Furies. They wear baseball uniforms, paint their faces like clowns and run around with bats. They chase some of The Warriors through Central Park and after Cowboy says he's going to drop from exhaustion, Ajax, Snow and Swan then proceed to kick the crap out of 10 or 11 guys with baseball bats while they have no weapons. It also brings out one of the lamest threats ever heard in cinema from Ajax: "I'll shove that bat up your ass and turn you into a popsicle." Whose going "faggot?"
Check out 'The Boppers.' No significant role in the movie though 'The Pimps' would be a more accurate description.
The Highhats. Tell me who the hell would be afraid of a bunch of guys who are nothing but mimes?? I'd see them and be like, "Do the rope thing! Do the rope thing!"
The Electric Eliminators. They have to get to the bowling alley after they meet up with Cyrus.
The Savage Huns. Actually, they all tried out for a part as a Conehead on Saturday Night Live and were rejected.
The Lizzies. The best gang name ever. These chicks were tough. In fact, they tried to kill a few of The Warriors and in one of the few times when you could cheer a man kicking a woman's ass, one of them had a chair broken over her head.
In one of the finer moments in the movie, Swan, Ajax, Snow and Cowboy had just got done taking care of The Baseball Furies when the come across a pretty young woman (played by Mercedes Ruehl) and Ajax wants to have some fun. The others decline (with Ajax telling them they're going "faggot" of course) and Ajax heads back. Now, the average person could have a brain the size of pea and realize that young attractive women don't decide to hang out on a bench in the middle of Central Park, late at night by themselves. The realization that she's a cop doesn't come as any surprise to us when it happens.
- Don't Do This Remake
- Published: August 20, 2003
- Type:
- Section: Video
- Filed Under: Video: Action, Video: Classics
- Writer: Jay Caruso
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Comments
Why not a remake ? The original will always stand the test of time.A remake is irrevelant.Enjoy it or hate it,who cares.
Patrick
great article Jay! you should sign the petition, and everyone else who wants to stop the remake. im not against anyone who are for it, but i guess some people like the movie more than others...
http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/stopwarriorsremake
Cool! The Warriors rocked in 79' and they'll rock again in 06'. You don't like it, to bad, they'll kick your ass anyway!
where is the reasons why the 'remake' shouldn't go ahead.
i pity the fool!
i thinkm it will be opk, but it wont be as gd as the original, how can they leave out the baseball furies, they should remake it exactly the same, but update it, with betta and more realistic fights, or an evemn betta idea, wot happend afta the warriors, or what happend leading up to it!!! Oh n btw The baseball Furies have the best NAME




Well said on the dangers of remaking movies that did great the first time around. Heaven Can Wait was another movie that should have never been remade. Chris Rock is no Warren Beatty. For that matter, Superman shouldn't be remade either.