When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it." - Clarence Darrow

Being previously disillusioned and now inspired by that quote, look at my credentials for a second, will ya?

I have lied, cheated in games with my kid, declared bankruptcy, made derogatory remarks about religious leaders, gotten drunk until I peed myself, thrown up, made people miss church, assaulted innocent parking lot attendants, hung out with strippers, inhaled, danced in women's clothing, used binoculars for more than bird-watching and sporting events, squeezed melons in the market a bit too excitedly, chased my cat with a vacuum cleaner until he pooped, whispered sweet nothings to a woman until she slept with me.. then tried to invite her sister into the mix, sent a ravioli via FedEx using the company's money, lofted a golf ball at the windmill on a mini-golf course, tried on shoes with no socks, farted in a library, been diagnosed with depression, been diagnosed with ADD...hey look at the dust on this monitor...where was I? Oh yeah, probably added a few charitable deductions to my taxes, looked in your medicine cabinet, and in your underwear drawer, took some underwear home, thought about washing it and returning it one day....but how could I explain the grape jelly and Fluff stains?, ran a red light, laughed at the handicapped and really never found anyone who volunteered to go into the armed services to be intelligent.

I have also gambled on sports and have no political experience but just a big ego and a stupid opinion.

Am I the dream candidate or what? Am I a ready made whipping boy sure to keep the media and the opposing party occupied for 4 years?

You betcha I am...and with Ahhnold, Coleman and Gallagher all tied up with that California thing, I could run away with the vote!

So today I announce my candidacy...for something....won't you vote for me?

*learn more at brianlewandowski.com ...you won't really learn more but this is my cross-posted site.