Needless to say, we passed on the massages.

Instead, we decided to go out and get a bite to eat.

"What do you want to eat?" Jake asked me.

"Mexican food," I replied, "or, as they call it here, 'food'."

Upon our return to the hotel, we got ready to crash and, right before I went to bed, I filled my courtesy water cup from the tap.

"I wouldn't drink that if I were you." Jake warned.

He filled his cup at the bottled water cooler down the hall.

But me, I had to prove a point. Always with the points, I am.

And besides, I thought the "don't drink the water" bit was just an urban legend. Kind of like the pet alligators flushed down the toilets in New York City; now fully grown and living in the sewers.

The next morning, during one of my many contemplative moments on the porcelain altar, I realized that some urban legends might have a basis in fact.

Note to Self: If ever in New York City, stay out of the sewers if you know what's good for you.

As dawn broke over Juarez, I could see the largest mountain on the outskirts of the city from the hotel balcony.

People had piled big white rocks on its side, which read: "Juarez - Biblia es la verdad. Lealo."

Translation: "Juarez - The Bible is the Truth. Read it."

Like I want a mountain giving me spiritual advice.

That mountain should mind its own goddamn business!

Later in the day, we had lunch with the family at a storefront restaurant located in an open market cum swap meet. It was a motley collection of shacks selling a little bit of everything, but mostly name-brand sneakers, Levis, and televisions.

When ordering, I asked for a Coca-Cola and had a quintessential Tarantinoesque moment when the waiter asked, "Coca normal (regular coke) or Coca Light (diet coke)?"

I guess what they say is true: It IS the little differences.

Other little differences: Street vendors sold cigarettes out of modified suitcases - by the carton, pack, or individually. Shoeshine booths dotted the urban landscape. People were lined up outside more than a few of the small storefronts selling lottery tickets because, after all, the National Lottery jackpot was up to a cool 9 million pesos. The public bus system consisted of a fleet of old school buses repainted blue or green. Also, in addition to regular combustible-engine cabs, there were horse-drawn carts to get around town in. I can't emphasize the horses enough. This is what they call "foreshadowing" in writers' workshops.