The answer soon becomes clear at the press conference that follows the closed forum. [Soulforce co-founder the Rev. Mel] White and Falwell take their places on a dais in the front of the Carter Sanctuary, Thomas Road's primary worship space. They are joined by [Defrocked Methodist minister — for the "sin" of blessing gay unions — and now Soulforce official] Jimmy Creech; Mary Lou Wallner, whose lesbian daughter killed herself after her mother rejected her; Mark Eide, the dean of students at Falwell's Liberty University; and Johnston. It is not clear that Johnston was expected; there is no chair, nameplate, or microphone for him at the dais. A Falwell Ministries staffer quickly rustles up another chair and mic.

Everyone says his or her piece. Falwell apologizes again for his harsh anti-gay rhetoric [an apology that turned out to be worthless, it turns out], says it is time "we love the sinner more than we hate the sin," but repeatedly underscores his conviction that homosexuality is a sin. Johnston talks about violence against Christians by gays, citing the September murder of 13-year-old Jesse Dirkhising in Arkansas, for which two reportedly gay men have been charged, and his own experience at an Oct. 10 National Coming Out of Homosexuality Day rally in San Francisco (an ex-gay event he founded to counter National Coming Out Day), at which Johnston was hit in the head with a blueberry pie. Creech denounces the continuing repetition of the word "sin" and Johnston's surprise appearance, calling both examples of "spiritual violence" against gays.

Afterward, White is visibly angry. At a debriefing session for the Soulforce 200 back at First Christian, he struggles to contain his emotions, complains that "we were ambushed" by Falwell. Many of the Soulforcers let loose their pent-up feelings. With quiet dignity, they endured the nondinner; being snubbed by some of Falwell's delegates (primarily Liberty students and [Thomas Road Baptist] church leaders), who would not talk to homosexual and transgender delegates; and Falwell's explanation that he didn't know the guests would find Johnston's appearance offensive. Now came further insult: Johnston would speak at Sunday services at Thomas Road.

As much as I differed with Michael, there were moments I enjoyed spending with him. In one, he actually giggled as we spoke, and he noted — I won't name names — that some of his ex-gay-leader colleagues were, in his estimation, "psychos." And he always spoke of his own responsibility in contracting the virus that leads to AIDS. I respected him for that as much as I disrespected his "visit" to Soulforce weekend at Falwell's church (which essentially gave Jerry the opportunity to parade a "changed" man before 200 GLBT people and to hawk a video touting Michael Johnston).