[...]

Even Saleh, whose right foot was amputated after the school shooting, has mellowed. "I have nothing against them now," he said as he showed off five crisp $100 bills he received from the U.S. military by way of the mayor.
He said that U.S. soldiers have visited his house four times — to apologize, to provide a medical check-up and twice to assess damages to his property. "They've changed my opinions," said Saleh, 41, who hobbles around on crutches. "I used to hate them, but now I realize they made a mistake and they really want to help us."Other things they've been trying have been to come to town and speak with the religious leaders, whose opinions and very important to the Iraqis living in Fallujah.

The sheiks and clerics wanted the brigade commander to pull his troops out of the city. That request was immediately rejected. But instead of storming out, the sheiks made a series of alternative demands. They asked that tanks not be driven through residential neighborhoods at night. They beseeched soldiers not to frisk women or clerics. And they insisted that searches of cars and homes be conducted without a presumption of guilt that led to soldiers knocking down doors and dragging out occupants in handcuffs.

By agreeing to make these changes - with the understanding that if a woman or cleric pulled out a gun and started shooting "all bets were off" - the military showed that they were willing to work with the people in the city rather than constantly working against them. They also managed to show the city's inhabitants that they could treat them with a basic level of respect, which tends to go a long way in any society.

The agreement to make payments for deaths or injuries wasn't an easy one to make. Some were concerned that it might make us look like we were admitting some kind of fault or failure, but because it appeared that many of the attacks on our soldiers were direct retaliation by the relatives of people we had killed, it sounded like it might be effective. In my opinion, even if it does make it look like we may have done something wrong (and, I have to say, that killing non-combatants isn't very high on my list of things that are 'not wrong' - even though at times it may be unavoidable if they're mixed in with others who ARE trying to kill our soldiers), swallowing a bit of our pride to save the lives of our soldiers is well worth it.