Republican fruitcakes
Published July 19, 2003
So the Republicans and Democrats on the House Ways and Means Committee were having a little dispute about a bill. Chairman Bill Thomas insisted on ramming it through without allowing a line reading, so the Democrats walked out to go discuss their strategy. One Democrat stayed to argue rules with the Republicans.
Colorado Republican congressman Scott McInnis may be the world's biggest pussy. He went whining to the committee chairman and literally had him call the cops on a Democrat. "That particular individual threatened me with physical harm."
Really. The supposed "threat" from California Democrat Pete Stark was "Oh, you think you are big enough to make me, you little wimp? Come over here and make me. I dare you."
My high level of pure contempt for the Democrat Party is second to none, but it's absolutely the Republicans who are the dumbasses here.
What an incredible girlyman. Jesus H Criminy, this guy gets to vote on sending our troops into war. This little nancy boy called the Democrat a "fruitcake"- and then calls the cops on him for calling him a wimp.
But even that's not what really bothers me. What REALLY bothers me is how f'ing STUPID these Republicans are. What did they think they were going to accomplish with this nonsense? How could they have thought anything at all but that this would get stuck up in them and broken off? That goes for committee chairman Thomas as much as McInnis.
What a bunch of Republican fruitcakes.
- Republican fruitcakes
- Published: July 19, 2003
- Type:
- Section: Politics
- Writer: Al Barger
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I can never get enough of Al. He reminds me of one of those pit bull robots I once saw on Japanese TV. Actually, I've never seen
Japanese TV and I have no idea what a "pit bull robot" is, or if there's even such a thing. But I liked saying it anyway, since it's the first phrase that came to mind after I typed "Al."
Dearest Natalie, I stand sorry to have strained your nerves. I'm sure I'm guilty of terrible homoerotic crimes with this description of these goddam Republican fruitcakes. I'm surely guilty of something. I stand prepared to assume the guilt of bearing the White Man's Burden.
Show me the light, sister. Help re-educate a wayward hetero (strike one) caucasian (strike two) Southern man (strike three and four) in alternative methods of expression.
My intended point was to mock the manhood or masculinity of these Republican fruitcakes. What would be the words that I could use to properly express this type of ridicule that will be morally, spiritually and politically correct?
"pit bull robot"
Pit bull I dig, but what kind of "robot" am I? What is an Al pit bull robot programmed to do, exactly?
At the mere site of a political article it disagrees with, the tiny Al pit bull robot (also known as the "AlBot")lets out a mighty metallic yelp and crushes everything in its path, at least until it hits the sofa, where it runs furiousely in place until the battery expires. Then its owner, Nim Chimsky, puts the AlBot back in the toy chest for until next time.
Sounds like Sisyphus, the existentialist paradigm.
I sure hope Nim remembers to plug the AlBot's battery back up to the re-charger.
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"Girlyman?"
Between this and "monkeys," I've had more Al Barger than I can stand today.