A half hour ago, I made a pre-emptive strike against the legion of telemarketers who are doubtless just waiting to pounce on me (I say waiting because it's only as of Tuesday that I've had an honest-to-dog land line to the Unabomber Cabin. Ted K. got along a lot better without regular 'net access than I did).

I surfed on over to The Federal Government's Do Not Call List and said, well Shazaam! Sign me up!

Actually, there was no space on the registration page for text comments, so they didn't get the Shazaam! part.

And I was all set, here and on Blogcritics, to praise the hell out of this effort for being so easy and breezy and beautiful and an actually legitimate use of the fedgov's interstate commerce regulatory powers.

But then...

The web site requires that one enter "a valid e-mail address" along with his or her telephone number(s) (nice that it's plural - you can zap your home, business and cell all with one entry!) (interestingly enough, it nowhere says the e-mail address has to be one's own, just that it be "valid"). Your entry will not be processed without this information.

So I guess it's sort of like registering to get the New York Times' headlines by e-mail (best in a fortnight - today's! #1 "Strom Thurmond, Foe of Integration, Dies at 100" #2 "Gays Celebrate, And Plan Campaign for Broader Rights" Yes, I know the gays were celebrating the Supreme Court's sodomy decision yesterday. It's the juxtaposition that's funny, guys!); it doesn't really happen until one receives a "confirming" e-mail, the equivalent of "Is that your final answer?" and responds to it as directed.

The Do Not Callee is then informed that if the site doesn't receive a reply to the confirmation mail within 72 hours, he or she will not be added to the list.

Furthermore, it will take "about seven minutes" for that confirmation mail to reach one's e-mail box.

Well, it's been considerably more than seven minutes since I finished following the instructions, and the e-mail has yet to reach me.

So now I wonder if it will.

Or if I've been tricked somehow into giving away my e-mail address to the new FDS (Federal Department of Spam).

Kate Sherrod, enlarge your penis and get a tax credit!. Unbelievable mortgage rates and complimentary phone tap! Smallest digital camera ever free with every completed IRS audit!

Oh, the possibilities! I think I have to lie down now...

Glad I used one of my junk addresses.