My dad died in 1989. He's had a wild and varied life, of which I know little. Here's what I know.

He was not a typical father

Impact of a father comes with life's positives and negatives

My father taught me to read before I ever entered a classroom.

He was, I'm told, a smart man. Gifted even. A Sixties radical. There were many reasons to respect him.

But he was flawed and I never got the chance.

Even before he, passed away more than 10 years ago, I had few memories. I was a teenager at the time he died. He lived in San Diego. I was going to school in England.

When he died we were worlds apart.

It didn't take very long before I realized I would miss him. I started to think that we, my brother and I, would not get the chance to show him what fine sons he had.

My father, Jim Stark, is a man I do not know. He continues to influence who I am, but I don't know how.

I don't truly know how much like him I am. My mother, Gayle, tells me I remind her of him at times, a way of thinking, or an expression. My smile.

These are compliments, she assures me.

There is a great photograph of my father with my brother and I, fruit stickers on our foreheads. He is tall, thin, red-haired and goateed. We're sitting on his knees. We all have big satisfied grins.

Contrasting that vivid image, is the one that more frequently comes to mind unbidden. It involves blood hitting the walls and an angry man.

I don't know where the anger came from and I don't think I'll be able to find out.

Though there are those alive who knew him, it will take many weeks and will power to talk to them about Jim Stark.

What is my reason for asking, they will say?

I have no way of assessing how this man, who I can only call, Jim, would have changed my life if he were alive still. Or, now that I am 31 years old, how he has already.

I would have learned to read, without him. But that one act demonstrates a caring that I have not known from him since.

I didn't even slightly, sitting in the Eastern Arizona Courier newsroom writing this, think that I would tear up. But I did.

I don't exactly know why.

Fathers have a strong impact that is given word of mouth, but can be easily overlooked, because it can be hard to define.

The negative is mixed with the positive. My stepfather, Michael, took on two sons after a lifetime of raising three girls. He is admired.

It often seems people are less willing to forgive their fathers flaws, than their mothers. I don't know why.

The hard impact can be damaging for life.

This is not the last word. Thanks for reading. Please continue to do so, and teach others who can be shaped by strong hands and minds.