The 13th season of the reality show that started it all, MTV's "The Real World," set in Paris, began tonight- and I crossed the picket line of the anti-France boycott in order to watch it (this post, I promise, will be completely free of lame French/Freedom puns). The premiere episode may not have lived up to the high bar set by last year's hedonistic Las Vegas cast (in which two cast members had sex in the first episode, and then had a threesome with a third the following week), but still indicated that the season will be a fascinating one.

In the sort of stunt-casting that would be too laughable to work if this were a parody, the alpha-male character is actually named "Ace." Ace almost immediately attracted the attention of all three females, who nevertheless prostrated themselves even more quickly at the feet of the lone gay male cast member, Simon. Meanwhile, we've got the quintessential sexy Midwestern virgin, Mallory (shades of Julie the Mormon), a former Iowa State soccer player who has a self-proclaimed penchant for getting drunk and making out at parties- just like another notorious ISU athletic figure, Larry Eustachy. Cast member Adam- who we hear is the son of a former member of the Commodores, though presumably not Lionel Richie- at first seemed sincerely lovestruck at the sight of Mallory, before revealing himself by episode's end as at best a jerk, and at worst a sociopath. The first thing I noticed about Adam is that he shares a hairdo with Billy from "Six Feet Under"; apparently he's got Billy's abject insanity down as well.

But the most memorable moment of the premiere unquestionably involved Leah, the blond Long Islander who declared immediately her desire to "hook up" with the attached Ace. She started by teasingly (and drunkenly) announcing that she'd like to "bite [his] butt." Later, in the obligatory group hot tub scene, Leah did exactly that- diving underwater and literally biting Ace's derriere. But the clincher came a few minutes later, as she was on the phone lamenting to a friend that she could't seem to get Ace to notice her. The friend's advice? You guessed it: "You should bite his butt!" I guess that means butt-biting is actually considered normal, flirtateous behavior in Glen Cove, LI-that this was the first advice from Leah's friend still has me practically on the floor five hours later.

I found the Steven/Brynn/Trashelle Las Vegas season last year less than enjoyable, simply because the cast was so loathsome it was hard to identify with any of them, with the singular exception of put-upon country bumpkin Frank. This year's cast looks much more promising, and even though I can't stomach most reality TV, "Real World" will likely be the one show I watch regularly throughout the summer. Even if it is French...