Here are the lyrics to R. Kelly's recent hit Ignition:

Now, usually i dont do this but uh... give em a lil preview of the remix

no i'm not tryin to be rude,
but hey pretty girl i'm feelin you
the way you do the things you do
remind me of my Lexus coup
thats why i'm all up in yo grill
tryina get you to a hotel
you must be a foot ball coach
the way you got me playin the field

now gimme that toot toot
and i'll give you that beep beep
runnin her hands through my 'fro
bouncin on 24's
while they say on the radio...

[chorus]
this is the remix to ignition
hot and fresh out the kitchen
mama rollin that body
got evey man in her wishin
sippin on coke and rum
i'm like so what i'm drunk
it's the freakin weekend baby
i'm about to have me some fun

(Let me see you) Bounce-
bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce
Bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce
(Now let me see you) Bounce-
bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce
Bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce

now it's like murder she wrote
once i get you out them clothes
privacy is on the door
still they can hear you screamin more
girl i'm feelin what you feelin
no more hopin and wishin
i'm bout to take my key and
stick it in the ignition

so gimme that toot toot
and i'll give you that beep beep
runnin her hands through my 'fro
bouncin on 24's
while they say on the radio...

this is the remix to ignition
hot and fresh out the kitchen
mama rollin that body
got evey man in her wishin
sippin on coke and rum
i'm like so what im drunk
it's the freakin weekend baby
i'm about to have me some fun

crystall poppin in the stretch navigator
we got food every where
as if the party was catored
we got fellas to my left
honnies on my right
we bring em both together we got drinkin all night
then after the show it's the (after party)
and after the party it's the (hotel lobby)
and round about 4 you gotta (clear the lobby)
then head take it to the room and freak somebody

can i get a toot toot
can i get a beep beep
runnin her hands through my 'fro
bouncin on 24's
while they say on the radio...

this is the remix to ignition
hot and fresh out the kitchen
mama rollin that body
got evey man in her wishin
sippin on coke and rum
i'm like so what i'm drunk
it's the freakin weekend baby
i'm about to have me some fun

girl we off in this jeep
foggin windows up
blastin the radio
in the back of my truck
bouncin up and down
stroke it round and round
to the remix
we just thuggin it out...

Your mission, should you choose to accept it:

Do a "Weird Al"-style parody of these lyrics, and post it in the comments section below. Person with the best submission gets a mention of their site on my Blog. (Unless they don't want that, which, frankly, would be understandable...)

Bonus points will be awarded for R-rated allusions to child molestation and hidden cameras. Have fun!