Lately, when extremely bored, I've been using the 'Google Fight!' site @ http://www.google-fight.com/

The basic premise: You enter two opposite keywords (such as "black" and "white") and, via a google search, the site determines a winner by total number of search results.

So, for example, when I entered "pit bull" and "poodle", I came to find out that the poodle was a lot tougher than it looked. It was all over that pit bull, winning with "350,000 Results" versus "270,000 Results".

Of course, I then had to ask the fight question most everybody has wondered about, at one time or another, since the middle of the twentieth century...

"If Jesus and Superman got in a fight, who would win?"

DING! DING! DING! goes the bell.

"And the winner, by unanimous decision, is..."

Jesus (with 986,000 Results)

Yes, Superman lost with only 369,000 Results.

The fight was pretty close for a while there. In the early rounds, the yellow lights in the arena gave Superman an edge. However, in round five, Jesus pulled some of that Savior-Fu on the Man of Steel, and... That's all she wrote! Good night, Irene!

The fight headline?

SON OF GOD CLOBBERS SON OF KRYPTON
http://www.thedailyplanet.com/newscolumn/lois_lane/saviorvssupes.html

Reportedly, Supes is recuperating at an undisclosed farm located in Kansas. He spends a lot of time talking on the phone with Gerry Cooney, asking, "What the hell happened?"

Gerry answers, "If I had a dollar for every time I asked myself that question, I wouldn't be working at a hardware store today."

Meanwhile, according to tabloid reports, Jesus has been partying it up with Mike Tyson.

Tyson allegedly gets way drunk and beats the living crap out of any bar patrons that've annoyed him. Luckily, his new pal, Jesus, is there to heal the fatally injured.

After the bar closes, they go back to Tyson's place, where he starts up with the begging of, "See that water cooler over there? Come on, Jesus, I just know you can turn it into a wine cooler! Let's party like it's the Second Coming, dude!"

Jesus turns the other cheek, at which point Tyson says, "You know what you need on that cheek? A tattoo like mine!"

Jesus mumbles something about tattoos being against Biblical law and, if He Himself got one, how the universe would pretty much blink out of existence.

"Look up Leviticus 19:28," He says, "'Do not lacerate your bodies for the dead, and do not tattoo yourselves. I am the Lord.'"