News from the absurd front
Published March 28, 2003
I never get a newspaper, like, on paper anymore. But this one was in the plastic wrap and sitting at my bus stop bench. Who could refuse
The front page was grim and scary. But a little deeper, in the California section, I found this story. Here's the headline:
MUSTARD COMPANY DOESN'T RELISH ANY ATTACK ON ITS NAME
The story goes on to get to the main point:
"THE ONLY THING FRENCH ABOUT FRENCH'S MUSTARD IS THE NAME!" screamed the press release from French's PR agency. "Recently there has been some confusion as the the origin of French's mustard. For the record, French's would like to say there is nothing more American than French's mustard."
This comes a a great relief.
If it's true.
- News from the absurd front
- Published: March 28, 2003
- Type:
- Section: Culture
- Writer: Murphy
- Murphy's BC Writer page
- Murphy's personal site
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Comments on this articleComments
Y'know, the whole French thing is rather annoying. How would the US react if 10 per cent of their population (primarily young males) was killed in war on their soil? How would the US react if 500,000 people were killed in less than two years in a war on their soil?
And how would you feel if the blustering country sat out both wars for three years while your civilians and military were being slaughtered?
And you gave a nice statue and a third of their territory.
Geez, I'd think, what a bunch of assholes.
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I quote that classic of contemporary philosophy, the movie Men in Black:
-"Why the big secret? People are smart, they can handle it."
-"A person is smart. People are dumb."