At Least He's Not Nigerian
Published March 21, 2003
Does this look familiar? A little pseudo-spam floating around the Internet - it's pretty funny if a tad heavy-handed:
- IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED : HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL
FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
DEAR SIR / MADAM,
I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND
CURRENTLY SERVING AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF
AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT
MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW
OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO
HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WHICH
INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT
REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.
I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK
YOUR ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY
TRAPPED IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT
YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY
FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION
OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY
SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES CENTRAL
INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.
IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES, MY FATHER, THEN
VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO
WORK WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC
OF IRAQ TO REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE
NEIGHBORING ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL
VENTURE WAS SOON FOLLOWED BY A FALLING OUT WITH HIS IRAQI
PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL REVENUE
SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE OF KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED
U.S.-BRITISH SUBSIDIARY.
MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF KUWAIT IN 1991
AT A COST OF SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S. DOLLARS
($61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT COST, THIRTY-SIX BILLION
DOLLARS ($36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY HIS PARTNERS IN
THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF
MONARCHIES, AND SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS ($16,000,000,000) BY
GERMAN AND JAPANESE PARTNERS. BUT MY FATHER'S FORMER IRAQI
BUSINESS PARTNER REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ
AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.
- At Least He's Not Nigerian
- Published: March 21, 2003
- Type:
- Section: Sci/Tech
- Filed Under: Sci/Tech: Internet
- Writer: Eric Olsen
- Eric Olsen's BC Writer page
- Eric Olsen's personal site
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Now this is funny. A product worthy of the late, lamented SatireWire.
I actually read all the way to the bottom of this, something I have never actually done with the Nigerian ones.
Bravo, whoever did this. Heavy-handed it most certainly is, but it's FUNNY!