At Least He's Not Nigerian

Written by Eric Olsen
Published March 21, 2003

Does this look familiar? A little pseudo-spam floating around the Internet - it's pretty funny if a tad heavy-handed:

    IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED : HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

    FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH

    DEAR SIR / MADAM,


    I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE
    UNITED STATES OF AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND
    CURRENTLY SERVING AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF
    AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT
    MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW
    OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO
    HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WHICH
    INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT
    REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.


    I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK
    YOUR ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY
    TRAPPED IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT
    YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY
    FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION
    OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY
    SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES CENTRAL
    INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.


    IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES, MY FATHER, THEN
    VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO
    WORK WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC
    OF IRAQ TO REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE
    NEIGHBORING ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL
    VENTURE WAS SOON FOLLOWED BY A FALLING OUT WITH HIS IRAQI
    PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL REVENUE
    SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE OF KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED
    U.S.-BRITISH SUBSIDIARY.


    MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF KUWAIT IN 1991
    AT A COST OF SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S. DOLLARS
    ($61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT COST, THIRTY-SIX BILLION
    DOLLARS ($36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY HIS PARTNERS IN
    THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF
    MONARCHIES, AND SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS ($16,000,000,000) BY
    GERMAN AND JAPANESE PARTNERS. BUT MY FATHER'S FORMER IRAQI
    BUSINESS PARTNER REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ
    AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.

    page 1 | 2
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At Least He's Not Nigerian
Published: March 21, 2003
Type:
Section: Sci/Tech
Filed Under: Sci/Tech: Internet
Writer: Eric Olsen
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Comments

#1 — March 21, 2003 @ 16:06PM — Kate Sherrod [URL]

Now this is funny. A product worthy of the late, lamented SatireWire.

I actually read all the way to the bottom of this, something I have never actually done with the Nigerian ones.

Bravo, whoever did this. Heavy-handed it most certainly is, but it's FUNNY!

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