"Okay Jumper #1, check your canopy and stall. Nice hop and pop, Dean! You are now a SKY--DIVER!!" Yeah! I stall the canopy and breeze out of it just when it feels right. You're there home boy!

I'm still a student, so now I have to listen to the jumpmaster on the radio as he tells me where and how to turn. "Right turn!" he says. I pull the right toggle smoothly but firmly, taking it all the way down to my hip. I sail sideways hard, feet pointing at the horizon, haw! and pull out of it just as he begins to say "stop turn!" Hey, I got this down, don't hardly need your help at all buddy!

"Take your turns easier than that, I want nice easy turns." Aw, c'mon! Oh all right, grumble grumble. "Left turn!" I pull the toggle smoothly but slowly, taking it only about halfway down, making nice, graceful curves. Just keep doing what he says.

The sky's beautiful. I look up at that canopy, listening to it flutter and flap like mad. I look at the sky, the clouds, the sun. I look to the vast green canopy below, seeing the fields and farms and buildings, my shadow there's my shadow! zipping along the drop zone field. What if I fall? Shut up and fly. I'm in full control of my canopy as I sail the earth. Yes, I really am a skydiver. Man, when can I free-fall again?

The ground looms near. Too fast! I have to flare the canopy to brake and slow down as I come in; that's what I'm supposed to do anyway. If you flare too late, you hit hard. Too fast! If you flare too early, you hit even harder. The ground gets closer and closer, too fast! and I wait for the jumpmaster to tell me when to flare. It's easy to make a mistake while you're learning, so you're supposed to make sure you don't flare until he tells you to.

Don't flare until says, don't flare until he says, don't flare until..."Flare!" ...wait, do I flare hard or gentle? Okay, stay calm, flare gent...

<BAM!>

...ly. Ow. Feet were in front of me, not under, on my butt, dammi...

"OW! AOW! Gnfck." <Strugglestruggle> Jesus my back! "AAAAA-OW!!" Get over here you people, I'm hurt! "AAAA-OW!! AAAA-OW!!"

Mnnnftgrrraaa... "AAAAA-OW!!! <swear struggle swear swear>Are the feet there? Yesyoucanfeelthemwiggle<wiggleokaydammitwigglewigglestruggle> "AAAA_OW!!"

"Oh man lie still! Stay calm! We're here! Can you move your feet?" "Yes, my feet are there, don't worry I'm okay, it just hurts, AAAA-OW!! Help me out of the harness" <swearstruggleow>