Case rolls back onto his side. He begins visibly sucking on his thumb.

"I see what you're saying. 'Barnum was right,' is that it? But Barnum was wrong. People aren't idiots. If you treat them like they don't matter, the smart ones will eventually pack up and move away."

Case smiles broadly. "I get it," the fairy says. "The smart ones aren't your target market. Fair enough."

Case lapses into deep sinus snoring.

"Let's come at this from a different angle," says the Customer Satisfaction Fairy. "Green grass thinking now. Let's put ourselves in the customer's shoes."

Toes can be seen wiggling at the foot of Case's bed.

"What would you think if you could do business with a company that just wants you to be happy? A company that wants you to be successful, and has pledged its resources to doing that? A company who, when it messes up, makes it up to you — a month's free service for an hour of downtime. Do you know any company doing that now?"

Case frowns, wrenches his head from side to side.

"No. But if you did know one, would you like doing business with them?"

Case nods pleasantly.

"And would you ever dream of breaking off from that company?"

Case juts out a lower lip in the negative.

"You would want to be that company's customer for life. No other company would ever get a crack at you. No matter how many disks they sent out, or how many billions they spent on advertising."

Case arches his brows and whimpers like a dog for a juicy T-bone.

"But you have to stop screwing everyone every chance you get."

Case nods.

"And you have to tell your bean counters to go to hell."

Case shrugs.

"No more entrapment."

Case purses his lips.

"And a life-long relationship based not on treachery and predation but on trust."

Case holds up a hand, giving the "scout's honor" sign.

"Now when I count to three, the first thing you must tell me is that you really intend to change, and make the customer number one. All right? One ... two ... three!"

Case sits bolt upright in bed. Sticks his pinky in his right ear and wiggles it around.

"Same time tomorrow?" he asks brightly. "And now I want my sandwich."