Matt Welch lookalike Ben Affleck seems like such a nice guy. But the tea leaves portend nothing but trouble and heartbreak:

Friends of Jennifer Lopez are concerned following Affleck's $500,000 Las Vegas shopping spree over the Thanksgiving weekend. It was after a weekend of gambling in Vegas that Affleck checked himself into rehab last year. "It's this addiction thing," said one source, after Affleck paid $150,000 cash for a Mercedes for J.Lo's mother, Guadalupe ... "Addicts spend like crazy, and we are concerned because we think he is exhibiting addictive behavior."

....Arthur Gordon, author of "How to Get All the Girls You Want," has sent an open letter to Affleck informing the star his wife-to-be is a "Freak." "The bottom line for a Freak is the constant need to experience the new and exciting, usually sexual," Gordon writes. "This is the type of woman to whom boredom is the worst fate imaginable." Noting that J.Lo's track record suggests a short marriage, Gordon cautions, "There will always be one person she loves more than her husband du jour - herself." [NY Post]

Lopez totally rubs me the wrong way: I hate her music, dislike her split image of coy Cinderella and street-wise tit-flasher, and don't find her very attractive either. Within the (admittedly narrow) confines of sex goddess-dom, could you have a worse body: no chest and huge ass (she does have a nice smile, though)? This woman has overstayed her 15 minutes tenfold. And now she has bewitched poor Ben.

Next victim!