I don't know what Bigwig was thinking when he handed hosting duties for Carnival of the Vanities #11 to me, but here it is. It's a good mix this week with everything from peace, love and understanding to drunken bloggers to hardcore Santa. No, not hardcore like that.

I had a lot of fun doing this, I highly recommend it to everyone. I read a lot, I learned a lot and I laughed a lot. I cried, too - you'll figure that one out soon enough. If I forgot anyone's entry - missed an email or anything - please feel free to send me a reminder and kick my ass.

Now, go read them all. I mean all of them. The posts are excerpted; click on the title to visit the author's site and read the whole thing. There will be a pop quiz later on, so read for comprehension! Don't skim! Bonus question will be: Who is hosting the Carnival next week? Answer at the end. Pencils ready, and....go!

Northwest Notes: The Meat Market

Whole Fryers $1.99/lb.
Spiral Cut Ham
GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILIABLE

The last one appeared in two locations. The extra ?i? had been added to each as a squeezed-in afterthought, instantly giving the word a new syllable. If only an old sign painter would come out of retirement and paint the signs the way they?re supposed to look, and the owner could throw away his collection of markers?.

M. Finely: Anton's Syndrome

If you stop right now, and take a piece of paper, and write down the three moments in your life that most defined you — that delimited your aspirations — you will likely have three short stories, a tryptich that tells much more about you than a comparable set of three happy scenes, the birth of a child, a favorite vacation, the moment you first fell in love.

Fragments From Floyd: UFO In Floyd County!

Monday morning began bright and brisk, with a low silver sun, calm, peaceful as ever. Sitting at the computer waiting for the muse to visit and move my fingers on the keys, I became aware that I was hearing sounds unnatural out my window. I got up from my chair and stood at the open front door in my robe and slippers. Whatever it was, it was circling back and forth between our valley and the neighbors.