Someone needs to tell Rye Coalition that Classic Rock is dead, Metallica sold out, Michael Stipe and Eddie Vedder now sing audibly and Rage Against the Machine broke up.

On second thought, don't say a word. The world might miss out.

Rye Coalition takes the dinosaurs of rock, retools 'em for 2002 and spits it all back out in a dizzying, jarring rock and roll journey that leaves you panting, sweating, and wondering if you should call an ambulance for the heart palpations.

From start to finish, with appropriately two breaks in between, songs 5 and most of 10, Rye Coalition wrings you out, wears you out, and makes you ask, are these guys serious?

How many bands these days record a song that opens with a freakin' drum solo? Well, Rye Coalition does, on "Hot Strikes," then throws in a guitar riff worthy of a Van Halen album during the Roth Era.

The story of this album is the music. The vocals are good but are jarring when mixed in with the virtuoso musicianship. But, the vocals work exactly because of the contrast with the music. Just as you start to settle in, Ralph G. Cusegllo comes in and slaps you upside the head with lyrics that he may or not mean. For instance, this little gem, "She'll slide down your pole/Let you spray the hose, on such a hot day."

The music slips from rock to punk to blues to rock and back to punk, sometimes within the span of 45 seconds. These guys are comfortable playing together and the music shows it.

The standout song, and it almost seems wrong to highlight any one song, is "Heart of Gold, Jacket of Leather." A song about New Jersey that sounds like it could have been recorded by Bruce Springsteen, except is not condescending enough (and minus the horns), and passed up by Bon Jovi because they couldn't figure out to play the guitar parts (and they really can't get past the whole hair issue.)

The most disarming song on the album, and one that really renders anything I write moot, is "Born a Monkey in the Year of the Snake."

"Hey Mr. Rock Journalist
How about a taste of my fist?
It's such an exciting twist to
your cynic laptop wit.

Comparisons should I make?
Not quite Hemingway
Get off your cross, we
need the space
Lester Bangs would laugh in
your face."

How can you review a CD with that song on it? You really can't. They really don't care what I, an unpaid part time CD reviewer thinks, anymore then they care what Rolling Stone thinks. And that is a good thing. Besides, you have to own an album that has a song titled, "Stairway to the Free Bird on the Way to the Smokey Water."

Are these guys serious? I don't know and I think that is where they want me. Rye Coalition may not be the Saviors of Rock and Roll, and they may not want to be, but they freaking well could be.

Special thanks to Mike Treff at Tiger Style Records for the CD and the show (later review on that).