Last time I said I would talk about Gandhi, and compare it to the other movies nominated that year. Well, there isn't really all that much to say about Ghandi. If you want to watch a 4 hour movie where 3 hours is spent watching some guy starve himself, then Gandhi is for you.

No, we'll discuss another more recent tragedy in the Best Picture category. We only have to go back to 1999. 'Saving Private Ryan' is the best World War II movie ever made. In fact, it is the best war movie ever made. Period. The first twenty minutes alone, is worth the price of admission. It's one flaw — the stereotypical motely crew of characters — can easily be overlooked. Powerful performances by all. It had emotion, tension, and featured some of the most brilliant battle scenes ever caught on film. It should have been a shoe-in at Oscar time. Hell, Steven Spielberg was awarded Best Director, so it was only a formality for 'Saving Private Ryan' to win. Right.

The movie world was hit over the head with a shovel when they awarded a romantic comedy, 'Shakespeare In Love', Best Picture.

Now, before I saw this movie, a few guys I knew were like, "Oh man, Gwyneth Paltrow gets naked in that one!" Wow. They might as well have told me Ed Asner was going to be naked in a movie. It would be about as sexy. Paltrow is so skinny, it's kind of like looking at a nude teenage boy with no penis. I actually had to turn away when she was showing her bony ass because I was grossed out. Don't get me wrong. There's nothing better than a good nude shot. Heck, the dreadfully awful 'Swordfish' is worth watching to see Halle Berry in the buff. Maybe some people have a fetish with anorexia, but I don't.

The script spent more time slipping in references to Shakespeare's work than to actually telling a story - a story that is vaguely similar to 'Titanic.' It's another example of a woman who is engaged to some creep but falls in love with the poor artsy type - in this case, William Shakespeare.