She did quite well until her boo-boo knee got rammed into the carpet. Then her eyes crossed and she became quite disgusted and bored with the workout. She decided I was taking too long to pump my BB up, and was ready to return everything to the store. I asked her to calm down and rewind the tape, as I was almost done. She did so.

Finally, my BB was ready for action. I sat on my big, purple ball and waited for the workout to begin again. The Princess, having already been through the workout, did well with the exercises this time. Unfortunately for me, the exercises involved quite a bit of balancing. I was rolling all over the place.

At one point, while balancing with my stomach on the BB and trying to lift my head up with my arms crossed behind it, I began a slow roll. It was so slow I didn't notice at first, but by the time I did... it was too late. I rolled into The Princess, knocking her off her BB and into the couch, where her knee smacked into the leg of the end table.

Her BB whopped into my face, embedding my glasses in the bridge of my nose. My BB shot out the other side, flying across the room and smashing into the wall with our wedding pictures on it. They all fell to the floor in a heap. Meanwhile, The Princess' BB had continued past my mangled face and was heading for the kitchen, where the cats lay sleeping in a little tangled mass in a pool of sunshine on the floor.

The green BB bopped smack into the center of the little feline pile, sending them into a screaching, hair-shooting frenzy in all directions. It was like three furry bolts of lightening went flying out of the kitchen. We didn't see them for at least two hours after that.

We sat there on the floor of the family room, too stunned and too pained to say or do anything. Meanwhile, the video tape played on... wind chimes and new age music as the pretty lady rolled around expertly on her BB. I'm sure if you looked real close, you'd see a wire attached to her to keep her from rolling off.

Without saying a word, The Princess and I collected our respective BBs, pulled the plugs on them and crammed them back into their boxes. My mission for today is to return them for a refund. If I ever do buy another one, it damn well better have a handle on it.