Benny Hill Gets Shafted Yet Again
Published October 22, 2002
3. Ivan Putski
While not technically a Brit, Ivan Putski is a true hero of mine, and no list, be it my Top Ten Famous British People of All-Time or my Favorite Breakfast Cereals in the World shall not include "The Polish Power". Putski had muscles on top of muscles on top of muscles on top of muscles. He was a mighty man. Plus he defeated many a mean wrestler: Jesse Ventura, Superstar Billy Graham, and The Iron Sheik to name just a few. I pumped my fists in bloodthirsty joy every time he used his signature "Polish Hammer" move. I once used the "Polish Hammer" against an aggressor (my neighbor's smaller, but meaner son). I missed and wound up hurling myself into the hedges, but there was a split second when I thought I was going to land the blow, where I felt on top of the world--where I felt like I was the great Ivan Putski. I've voted for Ivan Putski in every general election.
2. Judy Swallow
I don't know much about her other that she is a BBC radio personality and has a name that forever captivates and enchants me.
1. Paddington the Bear
He started out as just a little bear from darkest Peru, but over the course of his fascinating, fun-filled life he's ended up as The Most Famous Briton of All Time. You can't deny Paddington's strong sense of right and wrong and charming good looks. No one, whether bear or human, sports a duffle coat and hat better than Paddington. And what about his awesome suitcase that is full of jars of sticky marmalade? Talk about class! Yes, there was that period of the early 90s where he declined into the world of drugs and gun-running, but he never used the stuff, he just sold it, so cut him some slack. I dressed up as Paddington for Halloween all through my teens and early twenties. Sure, I got some attitude and a few broken bones for it, but the trouble and conflict was worth it, because nothing could replace the feeling of faux bear fur against my supple skin, or how that red hat fit snugly over my abnormally large head. God save the bear!
So there you have it. No doubt you've been nodding your head in agreement while reading my list. I'm sure you've been thanking me as well, as now there is an authoritative list that puts the BBC's list to shame--TO SHAME! Well, it was my pleasure, friends, my wholehearted pleasure. Cheers!
- Benny Hill Gets Shafted Yet Again
- Published: October 22, 2002
- Type:
- Section: Culture
- Writer: Chris Monks
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