An excerpt from a letter to a colleague of mine...

North of L.A., 2001.
Hi [name withheld to protect the supposedly innocent]. All is well here.. and rainy. Very very nice. I hope it rains for a few days.. it'd be a nice switch from all this boring sunshine. And the garden loves it.. all of a sudden the Salvia remembered that they're flowers, and the yard is considerably bluer than it was a week ago.

Alas, my tomatoes didn't make it. Shaddup. The tomatoes in the garden.. I planted beefsteak variety, which are HUGE and require scaffolding, teamsters, and a crane to grow propely. Next year, hothouse. The basil went off like weeds, which is great. I had to give each of my neighbors a whole plant (like 3 feet tall and enough for 3 cups of pesto each). It didn't occur to me until too late that if I plant enough veggies, we could save about $30 each trip to the supermarket. When I put the garden in, some old sun-weathered retired-type told me "If you use this bag (Nitrohumus) and this bag (redwood mulch) and this stuff (rough topsoil), you can plant rocks and they'll grow!" He weren't kidding. I dropped a nickel and got $10 bills a few weeks later. I also dropped a habanero pepper and in a week had three shootlings. I then stood in the garden for a week, hoping to go to 5'7", but it didn't work. I'm still 5'5". Next time I'll take off my shoes.

[an update the following year..]
Yo. Well, with three dogs and a small yard, the grass gave up, went on strike, and is now taking the dirt nap. Waitaminnit, let me re-phrase. The grass died. From green to dog-pee yellow, which was not coincidental. So we did what every good suburbanite would do, we put in a deck. Not just a deck, but a deck made of recycled plastics.. some kind of faux wood stuff that won't deteriorate until the year 6218. That's neither in dog years nor jewish calendar, that's as close to forever as I want to get. Anyway, so now we have a pot garden. No. Not like that. What am I, from Vancouver?? A garden in pots. Potted plants. All over, with the potted plants, and it is quite nice. We got all kinds of flowers, with scientific names like "blue ones", "white ones" and the ubiquitous "yellow stinky ones". We did get a rose, but the pup played tug-of-war with the rose plant and the plant lost. The rose wound up under the couch. Ah, but the veggie garden has an early start. Three normal tomato plants this year, a few bell peppers and of course hot peppers. This year: radishes!! Boy, did we get radishes. You don't know from radishes, lemme tell ya. I planted seeds in a nice little row, watered, and kaBAM I got a rows of green leaves and a billion radish plants popped up. What the hell? Happy little bastards. You can't handle the radi... nevermind. Anyway, I also planted doggie grass. Yes, Virginia, that is where dogs come from. Or at least where hippie dogs come from. Actually, that's not true. It is grass that appeals to dogs, and by gosh it really does. In about two weeks the pot had a full head of green unkempt hair that the mutts munched on as if they were a trio of barking cows. It is supposed to make them feel good and help their digestion, and add nutrients to their doggie systems. They ate the doggie grass. They then all proceeded to throw-up. Did I mentioned we tiled the concrete patio? Thank goodness. So much for that experiment. From now on, kibble and the occasional cooked zuccini. Thats the garden report for now. By the time you visit, we should be up to our poopiks in tomatoes and peppers. If not, we'll have radishes.