(Update: I said before that hardly anyone goes for broke on TV. The Vines sure did on Letterman the other night. A little too much, actually. Nicholls comes off like a... oh, how can I put this delicately?... a freakin' mongoloid. If you hurry, you can still watch the embarassment online.)

Length: 5.5 / Girth: 5

The Catheters
This Seattle punk quartet's debut for Sub Pop records, Static Delusions and Stone-Still Days packs a cervix-punishing wallop. If The Hives are the lighter side of punk, The Catheters (Christ, what a name...) are their polar opposites, taking themselves totally seriously at every riff. On track after track, they stick it in deeper and deeper, so much that it borders on painful, and nearly makes one wonder why this is necessary. What are they on about, anyway? At 34 minutes, the album may be a bit too long. It requires a very specific mood to get through the whole thing — like, on speed, maybe.

Length: 8 / Girth: 4

...And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead
Experimentation is a good thing. Honey, what do you say tonight we try some accordion? Strings perhaps? Oh, don't worry. We're still gonna rock. That's of upmost importance, always.

This is the band that stands out among most others working today, stylistically and also in terms of talent. Their major label debut, "Source Codes and Tags," takes them into deeper territory than ever before, beautifully counterbalancing grating guitars and sheer volume with innovative song structures ("Baudelaire") and material that is downright moody ("It Was There that I Saw You"), often weaving amazing juxtapositions and complimentary sounds into the same song. It's difficult listening at times, challenging the way you think about rock, and sometimes challenging the very idea that Trail of Dead is a rock band at all. But with patience and a little tantric concentration, the rewards are great.

Some say they're gonna be huge. I say they already are. But don't let them intimidate you — they know what they're doing, and if they're not exactly gentle, they are precise, moving, and massively talented.

Length: 9 / Girth: 7