Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Can girls have cock? You bet your ass they can. Bigger than yours. Karen O is living proof. The stripped-down blues-punk explosion of the band is topped only by her distinctively dirty voice — at once sensual, inviting, and very trashy. Not even Boss Hog's Christina pulls off sexy as well as Karen O. This isn't siren sexy, not "foxy lady" sexy — she doesn't sound like a fantasy, she sounds like the girl next door that you hear fucking through the wall at night, making all kinds of noise, shreiking, growling, moaning, whining un-self-conscious animal noises. And what balls! To yell, on the opening track of their self-titled EP, "As a fuck son, you suck!" It's more playful than PJ Harvey, less psycho than Courtney Love, and all the more emasculating because of it.

And yet, all this sex never eclipses the overt intelligence of the music. "Our Time" is an absolute stunner, a mini-manifesto of art-punk ugliness: "This is our time to be hated." Such a statement demands attention. It owns itself. It takes grime back from the dirty side of things and smears it all over itself, and dares to look good in it. It might be exactly what rock needs.

Length: 9 / Girth: 6.5

The Hives
If you're going to pound away at punk rock, sometimes it helps to have a sense of humor. The Hives are hard, yes, but they're also goofy, and silly, and damnit, happy. Nothing wrong with that. Who wouldn't want to hear a song called, "Die, All Right!"? Not often does music this loud make you smile so easily. It's loose, fun, driving music, hooky as all hell and proud to be so slight. And while The Hives may not be the marrying type, you won't regret waking up next to them in the morning, either.

Length: 6.5 / Girth: 5

The Vines
If they're being hailed as "the next Nirvana," it's only by people who haven't listened to the whole album. The title track of "Highly Evolved" has Nirvana-like elements, yes — most notably in the way lead singer Craig Nicholls draws out his words for the bridge: "If you're feeeeeeelin' / You can buuuuuuuyyyy love," snarling all the way home. But track two sounds like watered-down Oasis (if that's even possible), and then on track three, he's back to screaming his lungs out. It's telling of a band that is very young, adolescent even, and doesn't know who it is yet. They flex some songwriting chops here, and are up to the usual guitar antics, and it's a pleasant enough listen, but decidedly average. Not that there's anything wrong with that. And who knows? They may grow.