When it comes to gorgeous women, there is an adage to which men must adhere: “No matter how good she looks, some guy out there is sick of putting up with her shit.”
It should be law that Anna Benson has that tattooed somewhere, as a stern reminder of what not to mount.
Mrs. Benson has filed for divorce after seven years with Baltimore Orioles pitcher Kris Benson, whose claim to fame is his
4.25 ERA and 57-61 career win-loss record ridiculously gorgeous and annoying spouse.
Why’s Anna annoying? Because she craves the attention of the media. When Kris Benson was pitching in New York City, Anna frequented the tabloid pages of those oh-so-respected publications the Big Apple features as she gallivanted about town hobnobbing with celebrities. She is also famous for saying that if Kris ever cheated on her, that she would sleep with entire New York Mets.
Well, now she can.[ADBLOCKHERE]While I hate to give a hot annoying woman attention (such as writing articles like this), perhaps it’s for the best she gives a last-ditch effort to have a story about her appear on the front of ESPN.com. That way, she builds up a false sense of security that she has redeeming qualities that aren’t nestled in a 34DD baseball-patterned brassiere.
I feel bad for Kris, though, as every man does. This is a dude who agreed to do an interview — if by “interview” we actually mean “your wife asks you some lame questions as an excuse to snap some semi-nude photos of her” — in FHM. Among the nuggets of joy Anna shared to the public, Wifey said that if Kris Benson ever won the Cy Young Award he could have anything he wanted, such as “50 free times up the ass.”
And, to think, all Chris Carpenter got last year for taking home the NL Cy Young award was $50,000 and a trophy.
So here’s to the chilling conclusion of Anna Benson from being mentioned in the same breath as anything baseball related. Now I’m ready for Opening Day.Powered by Sidelines