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Anberlin- Blueprints for the Black Market

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[A skit for 3 participants]

Characters:
Sam (Scripted as male, but can be female, too, depending on availibility of actors/actresses. Remember Sam can be short for Samantha!)
Bob 1
Bob 2
-Director may choose to call one of the Bobs “Robert” should he or she wish.

Setting:
-A picnic in the sunshine. Bees dart back and forth and a sparrow chirrups happily overhead. A cd player leans against a tree.

Sam: Hey Bob, would you please pass the Catsup?

[Bob 1 grabs glass bottle and inadvertantly drops it in Sam’s lap. Thankfully the lid was on.]

Sam: Uhhh… thanks.

[Allow a few minutes for awkward silence.]

Bob 2: I have an idea. Lets spin some tunes!

Sam, Bob 1 [In unision]: Hot damn!

Bob 1: GooooooooOOOOOooOoooood idea!

[Sam, Bob, and Bob grin enthusiastically.] [Bob 1 reaches for backpack and pulls out cd wallet]

Bob 1: So laddies! What’ll ye have?

Sam, Bob 2 [Shouting in chorus]: ANBERLIN!

Sam [By himself]: I want to see if they live up to the hype their label, Tooth and Nail, has generated.

Bob 1: Yeah, I just got the disc in the mail yesterday and haven’t had a chance to listen to it, yet.

[Sam pulls batteries out of his back pocket {author note: who keeps batteries in back pockets!?} and puts them into the cd player.] [Sam, Bob, and Bob hold their breath as they wait for the music.]

Bob 1: The suspence is killing me!

[They wait more. No music plays.] [Bob 2 gets a confused look on his face, adjusts volume, and resets the player to the first track.] [They listen.]

Bob 2 [Said hesitantly]: The first track kinda sounds like a radio friendly Stavesacre with a weak vocalist.

[Sam plays air guitar to the soloing] [They listen.]

Bob 1: Track two is like Thursday meets pop punk. Ugh.

[Sam almost falls asleep against the tree.]

Bob 1: Does anyone else hear the Creed influence here? Man, they are trying so hard to live up to their idol’s footsteps.

Sam: And they throw in emo for good measure to make sure they aren’t exact carbon copies.

Bob 2: And yet I’m strangely drawn to it…

Sam: What are you, high? This stuff is trash.

[Bob 2 blushes and mumbles something about his pot habit being firmly under control.]

Bob 1: There we have it, folks. Let’s recap the lessons we’ve learned today. 1. Always put the cap back on the Catsup. 2. Anberlin is just a rehash of current music trends, doing nothing new or interesting. 3. DON’T DO DRUGS!

(Author note: Feel free to print and use for educational use in the classroom!)

peace.

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About The Theory

  • MT

    Good play. A bit short … but so what?

  • sam

    Ha.
    Anberlin is one of the few bands out there that are actually bringing back a strong rock and roll sound that the industry has been missing for many years. Anberlin utilizes their influences, but also focuses on their own sound and successfully delivers an amazing album.

  • andy

    you’re on crack if you honestly believe that. The only amazing thing about that album is how it was hyped so much. Amazing how much of a let down it was

  • LoOdie

    Andy, I believe you’re rather pathetic.. To believe that the album they had spent time working on, indeed which you could never do yourself…is infact a let down.. I think you need to listen closely to their songs and get off that crack pipe

  • LoOdie

    Andy, I believe you’re rather pathetic.. To believe that the album they had spent time working on, indeed which you could never do yourself…is infact a let down.. I think you need to listen closely to their songs and get off that crack pipe

  • LoOdie

    Andy, I believe you’re rather pathetic.. To believe that the album they had spent time working on, indeed which you could never do yourself…is infact a let down.. I think you need to listen closely to their songs and get off that crack pipe

  • john_blaze

    WHAT THE FUCK????

    WOW THIS IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF LAZY FUCKING JOURNALISM!!!

    WHY DON’T YOU GO CHECK OUT NY TIMES.COM or CMJ.com AND SEE WHAT REAL JOURNALISTS HAVE TO SAY ABOUT ANBERLIN YOU PEICE OF DOG SHIT!!!!!!!!!

    THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING DESCRIPTION OF A REVIEW I HAVE EVER READ IN MY FUCKING LIFE YOU FUCKING CUNT!!!!!!!!

  • Seth Werkheiser

    Ouch.

  • emily may

    wha? good play Theory, but, c’mon man, you compared Anberlin to Creed and Stavesacre?

    whoa man, W-H-O-A!

    bytheway, who’s that john blaze guy? someone needs a chill pill, even i’m not that distraught by your opinion!

  • Franklin

    Lamest critics ever, lame skit, lame review….yall are tripping balls if you’re not feeling this record….go back and listen to your Evenescence….Anberlin is rockin it.

  • Franklin

    Lamest critics ever, lame skit, lame review….yall are tripping balls if you’re not feeling this record….go back and listen to your Evenescence….Anberlin is rockin it.

  • The Theory

    you can think my opinion is crap. that doesn’t bother me. if you want to “trip your balls” to Anberlin, you may. But get out of your music bubble and discover some real music.

    And I’m not sure where that Evenescence comment came from. I’m not really a fan, though it’s better than most of the drivel on radio. I don’t even own the cd and nor do I care to.

    Now, if you’d subsitute “Starflyer 59″ for Evanesence, then ok. I’ll do that. Thank you for the idea.

    peace.

  • http://pmfloral.net/alternative.html Sasha

    I, personally, think Anberlin is awesome. They deserve more credit than you gave them. Have you listened to the lyrics? They’re poetic and meaninful. Have you seen a live show? They stole the show from The Movielife and Further Seems Forever. Starflyer 59 is awesome too, they’re my two favorite tooth and nail bands.

    Give Anberlin some respect, they’re awesome guys and great musicians.

  • katie bennett

    anberlin is awesome! you all :
    sam, bob 1 and bob 2suck if you really think that anberlin is not good. anberlin is great, they’re bringing back all that we’ve been missing. obviously you’re into something other than good music so why don’t you do reviews on the news or something other than music. thats all i have to say
    waffles to ya

  • The Theory

    …probably because the public has a right to hear more than just “the good opinion” of an album…

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