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An e-Junkie’s Confession

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Today I finally got my fix of the Internet after being deprived of it for nearly a week. Aaman had gone to Chicago for a week on a business trip and had taken my best buddy – the laptop – along with him, leaving me behind with the handheld to check my mails and get my daily dose of Blogcritics.org.

The nightmare began Tuesday onwards when I realized that most sites, except Instapundit, did not support the handheld and the Dell Axim wasn’t user friendly either in that sphere. Sliding the sidebar up and down with the stylus proved to be a slippery act. I would try to pull the page down and something else on the side would open up, making me feel like a clumsy idiot and I invariably landed up playing the mind numbing jawbreaker instead of surfing the net.

By Wednesday evening I was about to pull my hair out in sheer frustration by the fact that I hadn’t blogged nor had I been able to comment on BC; the handheld keys had driven me mad, typing on the handheld was like punching out a text message on a cell phone. I felt like a duh trying to find the respective keys and would invariably land up calling myself names for typing in the wrong keys and wasting precious time.

Feeling somewhat bereft without my faithful companion I decided to use the apartment complex’s PC where they have free net services. But its hard to find a free computer as there are teens sitting in front of the PC screens for hours chatting on yahoo etc and even if one would hover over their shoulders the message would never penetrate their thick hides.

After an hour of waiting I began to clear my throat loudly and one can ignore a woman with a protruding tummy only for so long. The two boys who were about fifteenish played the scissor paper game and the loser vacated his warm seat for me.

I quickly laid out a few toy cars for my kid to play with and began to blog. The opening page of the Internet Explorer soothed my deprived nerves and my thoughts quickly found expression on my blog-post. Within an hour I was done and somehow did not feel comfortable spending extra time on the net in an impersonal environment plus there was only so much advantage I could take of my toddlers saint like behavior.

We went home and I found myself harassing my little guy more than usual, having a whole lot of time to kill. I asked him to pick up his toys, tried to change the channels from his cartoons to Will and Grace, tried to feed him more than usual come dinner time and was in his face through the evening.

Having invaded his little world we landed up having big fights till we both were exhausted with each others company and called it truce only because it was bedtime for both of us.

Lying in bed alone I stared at the ceiling and began to wonder what life was before I became a net junkie. I looked at the pending books that lay unread on the side table gathering dust. Feeling guilty I picked up one of the vampire novels I had been reading and realized the pleasure I had been depriving myself of. But then just as quickly I found myself drifting off to sleep and my last thought was- “How will I manage two more days without the laptop?” Please read that sentence again- I said ‘laptop’ instead of ‘husband’.

Thursday brought another disaster in its wake. While I was making breakfast in the kitchen a sudden heavy crash in the living room was followed by my son’s scream.

Fearing the worst I ran into the living room to find the television lying on the floor and Aayan standing next to it, trembling and crying his heart out. Somehow he had pulled the TV off from the TV stand but thankfully he was fine.

So, there was no computer, no TV , no car and I couldn’t step out alone with my kid being in my eighth month and having braxton contractions that would have me huffing and puffing like a wolf.

The day, therefore, was spent catching up with my reading, picnicking with my kid in the near by Hawthorn Glen and then back again at home reading, playing and fighting because of the tike’s bid for independence and my need to discipline.

Friday came with the message of hope and deliverance. As usual Aayan and I had a tough time dealing with each other with no distractions to occupy us except books and yet without the idiot box blaring in the background and no PC to divide my attention we managed to have some good mommy and son time together.

I continued to check my mail on the handheld but held back from composing mails or replying to the comments on my post fearing the little keys would put me in a black mood once again or worse re-start my withdrawal symptoms which would result in driving Aayan nuts.

By the time Aaman came home it was dinner time and as we headed out he got to hear the family dramas that happened and worse of all had to hear me bitch about how frustrating it is to use the net on the handheld through pad Thai chicken and Massaman potatoes.

These few days without electronics made me appreciate all the things that the outside world had to offer and helped me understand that sometimes even quantity is as important as quality when it comes to spending time with one’s kids.

Yet a sneaky feeling tells me that Aayan wouldn’t appreciate having his freedom or privacy curtailed the way it had been in the last few days because of my frazzled, deprived behavior.

Therefore to maintain a congenial atmosphere at home I now have a good case to present in front of my husband to demand a second PC.

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About Deepti Lamba

  • Eighth months???? I had no idea you were that far along.

    A fun, entertaining read.

    How about those editor’s picks eh?

  • Time passes fast doesnt it Temple? Before you know it I’d be popping out the last member of our corporation 🙂

  • Out of curiosity, what kind of handheld do you have? My Palm Tungsten-C never has problems with any of the websites I normally frequent.


  • A Dell Axim X50 – it’s not the handheld – but the overcrowded websites, really. Also, the difficulty of using a miniscule e-keyboard for navigation. As a non-techie, I wish websites would be more light for handhelds – take a look at instapundit with yr pda.

  • really enjoyed this. and all too thought provoking, also. i remember a similar post from C.W Fisher back in the day (that’s the right name, yes?). A fella finds himself living in the web-net almost, and every conversation ends up in the 1’s and 0’s, or at least ends up being a conversation ABOUT the 1’s and 0’s.

    ah, such is life.

  • RJ

    When the hurricanes came last year, I was without power for most of the month of Septmeber.

    I could deal with having to take freezing-cold showers, and eating MREs, and waiting in hour-long lines for gas, and sweating my ass off with no AC, and only having the radio for Presidential debate coverage.

    But, man oh man, did I miss surfing the net!

  • Philip,

    Perhaps there is scope for a pda version of blogcritics. I have some ideas – let’s sync up

    At the risk of opening a can of e-worms, what do bc readers think of a pda version of blogcritics?