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An Apology to President Obama

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Dear President Obama,

I would like to apologize for criticizing you for all the extra-curricular activities you've been enjoying since the Deepwater Horizon oil rig exploded. In fact, if I were you, I wouldn't do anything different.

After all, I enjoy playing golf too. But recently, due to expensive greens fees, cart fees, and a general lack of time, I can't afford to. I would absolutely love to play an average of one round a week, just like you! But in this poor economy, I simply can't justify it. That shouldn't stop you, though. You just keep chipping away at that handicap, Mr. President. They might even let you play on the PGA tour someday!

And you know, I think it's nice of you to have all those professional sports teams over at your house, the White House. I mean, if I had a house that big and I had the power to bring major sports teams over, I would too! Although, I bet it wasn't all that fun to have those Yankees over, considering that you're a White Sox fan. Thanks for taking one for the team, sir! And please pardon that pun I just wrote.

Being a fan of rock and roll, I really, truly understand why you would spend time with Bono and Paul McCartney. I mean, who wouldn't want to do that? Sure, Bono can really talk your ear off with all this world peace mumbo-jumbo, but he does put on a great concert! And Paul McCartney, he was one of the Beatles! There's only two of them left, so it's good that you got to hang out with one of them. By the way, I would've chosen him over Ringo Starr too.

I can't say I blame you for skipping out on that memorial service for the 11 workers that were killed in the oil rig explosion. Memorial services are a real drag. I'm sure you had much more fun out in California with Barbara Boxer and the Getty Oil family. Good times!

Don't let any one criticize you any more for doing all the things you love, Mr. President. You're working hard, giving out free healthcare to everybody, trying to save Mexicans from those racist "legal" citizens who want them deported, trying to destroy that evil oil industry for raping Mother Earth, keeping those mean rich folks from making too much money, appointing Supreme Court justices that will take away handguns from everyone in the world forever, sticking it to those crazy cowboy Israelis in the Middle East, and making sure you give money to healthy people so they won't have to work.

You just take all the power you need, Mr. President. When someone gets in your way, you just say "Ha! I'm the President and I'll change the rules or issue an executive order that says I'm right and you're wrong!" That ought to teach them to mess with you. Besides, a President shouldn't be limited by Congress or that silly Constitution thing. That "Constitution" is just an old piece of paper anyway! I mean, it's not like people still live their lives by any other ancient text like that.

Therefore, I cheerfully salute you, Mr. President. Keep up the good work!



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About Braden

  • Glenn Contrarian

    I wonder if Mr. Braden can show any similar articles he wrote concerning George W. Bush and the 149 visits he made to Camp David for a total of 487 days off, and the 77 visits he made to his ranch in Crawford, Texas for 490 more days

    …for a total of 977 days – or a total of 2.74 YEARS OFF!

    And that’s with two wars going on, mind you. In fact, by August of 2003 Bush had spent 166 days on vacation despite 9/11 and the Afghan invasion!

    But somehow I don’t think Mr. Braden would’ve written anything about that…because even had Mr. Braden known, he wouldn’t have cared. Why? Because Bush wasn’t a Democrat.

    And then there’s George Bush Sr., who took all or part of 543 vacation days at Camp David and in Kennebunkport…but then he was president for only one term, which means he was taking even more vacation time than his son!

    Ronald Reagan was much better – he spent ‘only’ 335 days at or en route to his Santa Barbara, California, ranch during his eight years in office.

    But what about those doggone lazy no-load liberals? Jimmy Carter took the least days off — only 79 days, which he usually spent at his home in Georgia. That’s less than three weeks a year, which is closer to the average American’s paid time off of 13 days per year. And what about Clinton? As of December 1999, President Bill Clinton had spent only 152 days on holiday during his two terms, according to CBS News…and that put him at about the same rate as Jimmy Carter.

    So WHO is it that has a history of taking too much time off? THE REPUBLICANS. And WHO is it that has a history of taking about the same amount of time off that regular Americans do? THE DEMOCRATS.

    In other words, it’s just like everything else the Republicans accuse the Democrats of, it’s a matter of degree – because as far as I’ve found, there’s not a single thing the Democrats have done wrong that the Republicans haven’t done already, and to a worse degree.

    But Obama’s a Democrat, so that means if he does something that Braden doesn’t like – no matter that the Republicans have done far worse – well, time to break out the torches and pitchforks!

  • Jordan

    I heard Camp David is a fully operational “office away from the office.” Is this true?

  • Jamison

    Jordan… yes. That is an office. Glenn… a golf cart isn’t. And Glenn. .. bush isn’t president nor is Braden. You defend Obama? For all these events?

  • Glenn Contrarian

    Excuse both of you, but every-freakin’-where the president goes is an office. Do you two REALLY think that at Camp David and at Crawford Ranch, that Dubya was just pushing papers every day?


    Two-and-three-quarters YEARS away from the White House even when there’s TWO WARS going on, and you two are defending Bush while ragging on Obama for getting in a few rounds of freakin’ GOLF!

    The really sad thing is that you can’t even recognize your own hypocrisies.

  • Arch Conservative

    Has anyone seen Michael Moore on the green videotaping Obama for his next documentary?

  • Braden

    Okay, I finally stopped laughing.

    Apparently, this is what liberals do when they get mad. They rave about similar, but irrelevant topics.

    Glenn, many are saying that this oil spill is Obama’s Katrina. Some say it’s worse. Even Obama says it’s as bad as 9/11. Therefore, I’m just examining how our President is handling this crisis. It’s not about vacation time. It’s about how he’s addressing the problem.

    Like Jordan and yourself pointed out so eloquently, everywhere the President goes is a command center. Except for maybe the golf course. Oh, and it wasn’t a few times, Glenn. It’s at least 8. That’s basically once a week since the spill. By the way, he’s already surpassed Bush in total golf outings (yes, in all 8 years). Bush didn’t feel right being seen golfing while we were at war. You’d think that with TWO WARS (emphasis yours) and an OIL SPILL (emphasis mine), Obama might feel the same way.

    Jimmy Carter was a one term president. Not to mention one of the very worst.

    So Glenn, it’s not about “total vacation time.” It’s about addressing a crisis. Obama’s not doing it. Even Louisianans think that Bush would’ve done a better job cleaning this thing up. I mean ouch, that’s got to sting.

    Speaking of hypocritical, I’m sure you were busy back in 2005 criticizing Bush for his handling of Katrina. Where is your criticism for Obama? I mean, after all, you’ve been given the go-ahead by your liberal buddies James Carville, Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews. Why don’t you follow suit and drink the Kool-Aid?

    Keep squirming, Glenn. I’ve tried not to get back into the fray of commenting on my own posts as much as I used to, but this time it was just too hard to resist.

  • James

    I was just about to say to Glenn, Bush and Reagan aren’t the president so why WOULD Braden write about them? Obama is. I often wonder about the far-left people who love and support Obama even when he does thing that are unsupportable… yet the best way they defend the m an is to compare him to Bush… I mean, I thought they hated Bush but it seems GWB is the Lefts barometer for success. I didn’t think he was an excellent President… but at least he supported Isreal, and took stands when terrorists wanted us dead. The left tried to convince us to vote for Obama so the world woud love us and stop fighting… yet the world laughs at us even more now and we are still at war… Oh, Glenn, remember when Obama said he would close Gitmo? That is one of his 20+ campaign promises I am glad he is keeping… which broken promises are you glad he didn’t keep? Or are you all forgiving?

  • John Lake

    Those in the far suburbs, or maybe the boonies fantasize about guns. Maybe you should consider the more urban sitution.

    “When the temperatures rise in Chicago, so do the shootings. At least 52 people were shot over the weekend — including a one-year old — and at least eight died.The shootings started almost as soon as a pair of violent storms had finished battering the city Friday night. Police superintendent Jody Weis said most of the violence came from gangs.

    “The one-year-old girl was grazed on her ear when gunfire erupted on the 1300 block of West Hastings Street, cops said. Four other men were shot in the incident that took place during a barbecue.”
    51 shootings in Chicago

  • Glenn Contrarian

    Braden –

    Do you know why ships pull into overseas ports for liberty call even when there’s a war on? Do you know why soldiers and Marines get flown out of a combat zone to go on R&R even when there’s a war on?

    Because all work and no play makes Jack pretty stupid. Everyone from the commanding officer down to the newest enlisted man needs time off once in a while to blow off steam. I know this, guy – I’ve lived it.

    That’s why I’ve got absolutely no problem with Obama going golfing once a week – his job is a hell of a lot more demanding than yours or mine. I DO have a problem with a president taking ONE-THIRD of ALL his time on vacation – which is what Bush 43 DID and what Bush 41 was EXCEEDING.

    As far as criticizing Obama’s response – yeah, he coulda been more forceful out of the gate…but the fact remains that there is NOTHING that the federal government physically has to go fix that well. Even the Navy doesn’t have anything that goes down that deep anymore. We did…until they were decommed back while Dubya had the conn. That’s why we have to depend on BP to fix the doggone thing…and Obama has to walk a fine line in between holding BP accountable and pushing them to a point where they will not be as effective as they could be.

    BTW – can you name any president who’s gotten a major concession like the 20B escrow account from any major corporation in the past?

    Lastly, it’s not a ‘Katrina’ – Bush had days of warning in advance. We had ZERO warning of this, and we had to depend on BP’s estimates and cooperation. If the government has any culpability, it’s due to LACK of regulation…because ALL regulatory agencies were greatly weakened during the Bush administration. When Obama came in, IIRC he was able to get someone to head the MMS by midsummer last year…but a new head of any agency isn’t going to be able to change the behavior of a nationwide government agency with vast responsibilities in a mere nine months. If you had any clue about organizational momentum, you’d know that already.

    So NO, this wasn’t at all Obama’s fault. This WAS the fault of every conservative who actively tried to tear down the nation’s regulatory agencies.

  • Baronius

    I like to believe that I’ll criticize anyone (real or imaginary) for anything (justified or not). But this kind of article just bugs me.

    The president isn’t supposed to do everything – and if the author of this article is a conservative, he believes that the president isn’t supposed to do much of anything. The president has millions of subordinates. He’s supposed to lead them, not do the work. Carter lost sight of that and tried to do everything himself. Reagan never forgot that, and was a better president for it.

    So the point of this article isn’t to complain about Obama’s recreations; it’s to complain about Obama. It proves that in the second half by complaining that he does too much. By lashing out at every single thing about President Obama, the author weakens his argument about the stuff he really cares about, the policies.

    As for me, I never much cared for Bush’s “no golfing during a war” stand.

  • Glenn Contrarian

    James –

    *Gasp*! Obama’s only kept 20+ promises? He made SO MANY PROMISES, and he’s kept only 20 of them??????

    So off I go to fact-checking land where conservatives almost never go…and there on Politifact.com’s Obameter, what do I find?

    That Obama’s BROKEN 19 promises!
    He’s COMPROMISED on 35 campaign promises!
    82 of his promises are STALLED! (mostly due to EPIC obstructionism by the Republicans)

    But there’s 249 of his promises that are still in the works, and ONE HUNDRED SEVENTEEN of his promises that he has KEPT. Oh, and there’s three more promises they haven’t yet rated.

    Personally, James, if I had my way, I’d have Cheney and everyone else who know about it up before the Hague on war-crimes charges for torture…and I see NO reason why Bush shouldn’t be held accountable for getting us to invade a country on FALSE pretenses…even when that country posed NO threat to us whatsoever.

    James, NOBODY is going to be completely satisfied with any job by any president…but in the big picture, considering the epic crap sandwich he inherited when he took office (the worst recession since the Depression and two ongoing wars to boot), Obama’s done pretty doggone well…despite the fact that the Republicans have waged the most obstructionist campaign (short of secession) in our nation’s history to stop his efforts (and that, James, is a FACT).

  • So Glenn, you’re saying that sitting in an office getting reports from the field is as stressful as being in a combat zone? Do you even think at all about the silly stuff you write?


  • James

    glenn… typo,,, he has broken 20+. Name one he’s kept and I’ll reply with 3 he’s broke

  • you’re saying that sitting in an office getting reports from the field is as stressful as being in a combat zone?

    Yes, ever since the US presidency stopped being a simple executive office and started being Office of the World Boss (change here for Buckstop Central).

  • Name one he’s kept and I’ll reply with 3 he’s broke

    This should be good…

  • zingzing

    james, do the math… after 7 rounds, you’re going to start losing pretty horribly. and there’s still another 110 rounds to go…

  • zingzing

    ah, 19… that means 6 rounds of glorious wins for james, followed by a long, long streak of failures.

  • Just to clarify: AFTER Bush said that he would play no more golf as long as our kids were fighting wars on our behalf, he played more golf.

    Dave, do you REALLY think that “getting reports” is all a president does? Or is it just THIS president?

    While I wasn’t particularly happy with Obama’s speech last week, overall I think he has done about all anyone could have done regarding the oil blow out.

    It is painfully obvious that no one had any notion about what to do in the event of a blow out – deep water or otherwise. The oil companies – all of them – flat out lied about their preparedness. So, Obama is handed another shit sandwich compliments of Republican deregulation.

    And, what the hell? Nobody – NOBODY – has ever gotten 20 billion dollars out of an oil company, or any other company for that matter. I certainly have concerns about how the money will be distributed – it is certainly likely that a lot of people who should get it won’t, and a lot who shouldn’t get it will. But having $20B on the table is far better than the paltry $75 million limit devised by Congress.

    Otherwise, the entire article is nothing more than misdirected spiteful crap.


  • John Wilson

    GWB was pretty lazy, had no taste for going to the office, and had a 42% attendance record.

    Clinton was a famous workaholic. Whether that is good or bad depends on your experience. I think it’s doubtful.

    We should pay more attention to results than to chest-thumping by politicians. Obama, in his quiet way, has done a pretty good job. The way he aced BP on the spill settlement is close to masterful. He got the ante upped to $20billion plus, an immediate $100million to finance workers during the moratorium, and settlements in the hands of his appointee. Compare that to the miserable settlement on Exxon Valdez during Bush 1.

  • Glenn Contrarian

    James –

    glenn… typo,,, he has broken 20+. Name one he’s kept and I’ll reply with 3 he’s broke

    If you’ll READ my comment, you’ll see 19 broken promises, and 117 kept promises. So go over to Politifact.com, read the list of promises kept, and get back to me with, um, let me see now…THREE HUNDRED FIFTY ONE broken promises.

    Because you said you could show three broken promises for every promise kept, remember?

  • Glenn Contrarian

    Dave (and the rest who think that staying in town and going golfing once a week is dereliction of duty) –

    So Glenn, you’re saying that sitting in an office getting reports from the field is as stressful as being in a combat zone? Do you even think at all about the silly stuff you write?

    Like sideways drilling for oil all the way from the shore out to where the oil is waaaay out in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico, or that Obama’s deliberately sabotaging the nation’s economy, or that we need to expand the war on terrorism to other countries in the MIddle East and Africa? Oh – waitaminnit – those were from you and not me.

    And where did I even imply that sitting in an office somewhere is as stressful as being in a combat zone? I didn’t. That’s you blowing my words out of proportion and context. I DID say that since the Carter presidency, the Democratic presidents went on vacations at a FAR lower rate than the Republicans. This, Dave, is PROVABLE FACT…which is not a standard I’ve seen most Republicans and many conservatives abide by these days.

    So what do the BC conservatives do? “Oh, well, GWB MUST have been working all that time, because, well, you KNOW how lazy those nogoodnik Democrat presidents were. Those two-and-three-quarters years ain’t nearly as bad as staying in town and goin’ golfin’ once a week!”

    That’s their argument…based solely on assumption. I really do wish that someday y’all would start basing what you believe based on FACT, rather than insisting that the facts must be the way you think they are.

    But most of you won’t. Why? Because if one truly values fact over belief, then one is not afraid to admit when one is wrong, and one who truly values fact over belief is grateful for correction.

    You’ve admitted error once or twice…but IIRC both times they were on relatively minor points.

    Oh – and one more thing – how many hours of physical exercise do you think the president should get, and how often? Because even walking for a few miles is more exercise than sitting behind a desk…and in case you’re wondering, I don’t think I ever complained even once about Bush going golfing. Some on the left did…I didn’t.

  • Am I the only one that has no problem with the President playing golf AND Tony Hayward going yachting? Has the mainstream media gone so hog wild that they are, in effect, micromanaging targets by proxy? If the MSM and pundits had their noses up any of our asses, I wonder how we’d react? This whole thing is out of control. Barack Obama deserves some stress relief. Carter had Billy. Ronny had Nancy. George H.W. was just blank. Bill had Monica. W had flight jumpsuits and “mission accomplished” banners. From the moment Barack Obama placed his hand on the Khoran, er, I mean Bible he’s been the target of every pundit, pollster and pervert.

    And, if I were Tony Hayward I’d tell the Yanks to bugger off. Addicts find any alternative possible to the most logical solution. In the meantime, Japanese automakers will roll out a whole suite of cars powered by Afghan lithium batteries. In 2020 President Palin will be asking Congress to bail out GM once again while Vice President Rubio will be lobbying for WalMart on Capitol Hill.

  • And, Braden, your rabid hatred of all things liberal is completely unfair to James Carville. He has been one of the most vociferous, outspoken critics of “HIS” President. Olbermann and Matthews haven’t been kind, either. They’re not drinking KoolAid unlike those on the Far Right who are swallowing anything Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin have to offer.

  • Mark

    …regarding the oil blow out.

    I, also, am disgusted with the insipid use of ‘the oil spill’…oh my, I appear to have spilled my tea! Thanks for refocusing the language, Baritone.

  • Baronius

    Baritone and John, I called out Braden on the golf thing, so I might as well call you two out as well – do you really care about Bush’s golfing?

  • John Wilson

    No, I don’t care about Bush’s golfing. Or anyone else, either. The Big Guy ought to be good at delegating tasks and then follow-thru by rating and firing or promoting his people. Golf is a good business venue: it’s hard to pretend omniscience, etc., while shanking a 2 iron.

    Bush was actually pretty good at that, although he was a little slow. Eventually he got his invasion staffs about right, though too much time went by. Bush even ‘fired’ Cheney in his second term! Maybe Bush delegated too much to ideology, however, hoping that appointing an ideologue would put a department on autopilot and not require his further attention. Maybe Obama makes a similar mistake, thinking that appointing a semi-neutral person will result in a non-controversial policy and he won’t have to ride it.

    I’m just guessing, though.

  • Bar, the only reason I made mention of it was that at the time, Bush stated emphatically that he would NOT play golf while the wars still raged on in Iraq and Afghanistan, but then did so anyway.

    No, I didn’t care whether he played golf or tiddly winks, we all need a release of some kind, even W. It was his having gone back on his prior statement that made it an issue.

  • James

    There are 2,000 skimmers in the united states. Obama has asked none to go to the gulf to help clean up… inept or does he have a sinister plan? It has to be one or the other. When asked why none are being sent Obama explained that he can’t ask any of them to leave their post because then there would be no skimmer to clean up oil spills in other parts of the country….

  • John Wilson

    If there are skimmers available, then BP should be charged with summoning them and paying them.

    BP has always insisted on being in charge of all cleanup operations. Plus, the USA has few means to cleanup after oil companies. After all, it’s in their contracts that they must clean things up.