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Americans Are Lazy, Fat AND Stupid!

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According to a new study conducted by researchers at Michigan State University, only three percent of the 150,000 adults surveyed follow the four basic rules of healthy living.

Here are the "four rules;" don't smoke, eat properly, exercise regularly and maintain a healthy weight.

After all of the money and effort spent in an attempt to educate the American public with regards to this subject, only three percent of the people in this study have "gotten it." How depressing.

The results of this study are the best indication to this date that our country is in real trouble. Forget test scores and all of that crap that educators use to measure the education and intelligence level of the populace. The fact is that despite the constant drum-beat that has been laid down in the media by both the well-intentioned public health authorities and "fast-buck" fitness hucksters, Americans are too stupid, lazy and self-absorbed to "get it."

Here's what one of the researchers posits.

"(The researcher) explained that there are probably a number of reasons why the vast majority of Americans don't follow their doctors' orders. People are busy, live in environments more conducive to driving everywhere than walking or biking, and may lack information about the dangers of unhealthy habits."

Nice try…Here's the reason; Too many of our people are STUPID!

"Live in environments more conducive to driving everywhere?!?" Did I miss something here, do we live like the Jetsons? Are we up in space without solid ground to walk on or water to wade in?

The researcher should have said, "Americans are just plain lazy. We have gotten fat, both figuratively and literally, and it's time to move on and spend our time and efforts on something worthwhile."

What do people need to hear and see? Cigarette companies, liquor companies and fast food chains have been telling us for years that their products are potentially unhealthy – even DEADLY – and should be consumed in moderation. McDonalds has stopped frying everything, grilled chicken is everywhere and exercise equipment is advertised on every channel on cable and satellite television systems.

There have been warnings of grim death on every cigarette package sold for about the last 40 years and yet the vast majority of the population just keeps on keepin' on.

I would have hoped that more people would have been conned into doing the right thing. For as much as I hate the aforementioned fitness hucksters, I would have prefered that as they took people to the bank, the people would have at least exercised as a result.

Out of the 150,000-plus people, less than 25% exercised regularly. Do something, you fat morons. Walk around the block, or around the mall.

Americans are turning into the buffalo. I remember the stories that I read in history class, where buffaloes were shot at by hunters and the herd never moved as their buddies where mowed down by gun fire. It's just like that today, but with dumb, fat Americans.

Fat, inactive, smoking and unhealthy American herd members are watching their buddies pack on the pounds and get sick – with some dropping dead – and they just continue to stand around, gnawing on their french fries and donuts. "Gee look at that, Fred just died. Mmmm, this burger is good…."

Well as an expert – a strength and conditioning professional – I say to hell with all of you, at least the 97% of you who just don't give a shit and are too stupid to get it.

And more people need to do the same. Let's forget about those who are too weak to keep up. Hey, I'm fine. My family is fine.

Don't tell me this is a public health issue. Obesity is on the rise? Well apparently so is stupidity. Worry about that.

So for us 3% let's move on and enjoy the fact that, if this trend keeps up, our we'll have a lot less competition in everyday life. The "new buffaloes" will continue to disappear and our ranks will become stronger and more successful as time goes on.

About Sal Marinello

  • zingzing

    richard lawson: “The more you Americans continue hating people you don’t even know, the more miserable your standard way of living will be.”

    again, irony? do you know what irony is? look it up.

  • http://delibernation.com Silas Kain

    My country ’tis of Thee,
    Sweet Land of Irony,
    Of Thee I zing….

    irony: incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs.

  • Jeff Forsythe

    Actually I have a preference for aluminiumy than irony; it corrodes slower.

    Does there exist an American who actually knows the lyrics to their own National Anthem?

    Mr. Forsythe

    Mr. Forsythe

  • http://drdreadful.blogspot.com Dr Dreadful

    I’m fairly sure that the words “Mr Forsythe” don’t feature in it.

    But I’ve always been puzzled as to why America seems to be beseeching the advice of a photocopier…

    “Océ, can you see…”

  • Jeff Forsythe

    Proofreading error actually – I was under the impression that Mr. Clavos was the grammar nazi? :-)

    Jeff

  • http://delibernation.com Silas Kain

    Isn’t having a National Anthem unconstitutional?

  • Jeff Forsythe

    Mr Kain take heed; the NRA are undoubtedly monitoring our communications

    Jeff

  • http://drdreadful.blogspot.com Dr Dreadful

    I was under the impression that Mr. Clavos was the grammar nazi?

    He is. I’m just the grammar henchman.

  • Jeff Forsythe

    So many things to gain knowledge of, yet so little time

    Jeff

  • Jeff Forsythe

    Then you are Guy of Gisbourne to Clavos’ Sheriff of Nottingham?

    Jeff

  • Jeff

    One of the Wicked Witch of the West’s flying monkeys?

  • http://drdreadful.blogspot.com Dr Dreadful

    Perhaps more Max to Clavos’s Professor Fate.

  • Richard Lawson

    1) no. you?
    Will tell me, Nobody really give s a shit what you think

    2) no. you?
    Will I am sure that in the USA, You are allowed to judge people by the shit you believe

    3) we killed him. also, the word you’re looking for is “well,” not “will.” different words, them.

    Oh I see that the way youy Americans handle issues is with violence

    4) Sory

    None taken

    5)i’m not sure where you learned english, but you’re not doing it right. wherever you are, you’re getting the same technology. i’m currently typing on a computer developed in that asian country of california. you?

    Will I know that you American Have an accent that goes yall which its difficult to understand. So no are you saying California is a country, I know Texas wants to be a country which if they do secede from the USA, Well good for thewm.

    6) 9/11 was perpetrated by a few angry muslims. and i didn’t vote for bush. in fact, more people didn’t vote for bush than those that did. funny, eh?

    Will doesn’t 9/11 prove you how much people hate America.

    7) what? also, i hate you. and everyone else.

    Okay, It difficult to understand your American Accent. I know you Americans killed more Iraqis than saddam did in his whole entire dictatorship years in Iraq.
    8) espn
    Wow, do you Americans just type BS like for example (KIHSDNAO) or what.
    9)my god, you can’t fuck up english like that without trying. are you a comedian? i’m beginning to think it’s a possibility.

    Wow, you just fucked English up. Hey I think you are a Dixie

    9) that’s because you don’t read or write english terribly well.

    INO no, You Americans can’t speak English will , even a retard writes better than any of you white trash yanks
    10) seriously, are you using an internet translator or something? yes, all american women either weigh 2,000 pounds or 90 pounds. all of them. you know this. it’s true. uh huh.

    Are you using the internet translator in speaking in your American accent or what. Again nobody cares what you think.

    11) the word is “where.” also, i’m telling you something that i have done (or not, as the case may be). so, therefore, it’s pretty obvious that the source of “this fact” is, in fact, me. hard to understand? maybe. but it’s true. can someone get this guy a translator? the word “i” seems to be too difficult for him.

    Nobody wants to learn how to speak American, Outside the USA, we don’t use the word yall or howdy.

    12)”you see it in tv?” see what? yes, there are those in the us that are very christian and want a theocracy, but they are few and far between. we’re actually built on the exact opposite idea. what tv are you watching?

    You must be a Christian right, Again what you Americans release in your tv shows are based on American reality.

    13)i don’t believe in jesus. i also don’t think anyone has deemed me important enough to call me the anti-christ, but that day may come. it should be obvious that, by proxy of the fact that i don’t believe in jesus, i also don’t believe in the devil. most people are intelligent enough to figure out that fact. you?

    Will again I am not an American and why is it that you Americans always say “under god” when you say the pledge.
    i have no idea what you’re trying to say here. your english is really terrible.

    14) i have no idea what you’re trying to say here. your english is really terrible.

    Stop speaking in this American Dixie accent, its difficult to understand what you are saying.

    15i actually like buddhism. out of any religion, that’s the one that works best for me. a nice religion, buddhism. has its head in the right place.

    Sooner or later I bet you religion will run the US government and the education.

    16)where you’d get that idea is beyond me. but it’s pretty obvious you’re either nuts or you don’t understand much english.

    [personal attack deleted] and perhaps English isn’t your prime language.

    17) i’m afraid that a) you don’t know what my accent sounds like and b) you english is more retarded then me is.

    Seriously Stop killing the English language, We all know [personal attack deleted] you Americans have a Dixie accent.

    18) oh, so totally proud. you’ve obviously figured me out.

    Good thing though you yanks lost the Vietnam war,

    19) do you know what that sentence means? because i don’t. then again, i don’t know much about real estate.

    [personal attack deleted]

    20) um… yeah? it’s recognized as a loss here. why you think otherwise baffles me. ever heard anyone call it a us victory? i haven’t.

    Again nobody cares what you think; there are some patriotic yanks that say the Vietnam War was a draw.

    21) that’s a motley group. again, i think the word you’re looking for is “well,” not “will.”

    [personal attack deleted] Nobody cares what you think

    22)of course they are living in reality. there’s not another way. but to dream is a good thing.

    You know what; it’s easier to understand A French when they speak English, When Americans speak English they always have to use this accent which makes them look retarded.

    Funny though how these yanks continuing dreaming on how great they are but yet, no nobody likes them, People hate America so much that they would crash a plane into a US tower (9/11) and put explosive devices up their own a*s*s just to kill them (Christmas incident 2009.)

    23)yes, yes it is.

    By the way. Shouldn’t people be discussing how lazy fat and stupid Americans are in this website or what? Will knowing how you Americans understand little English, can’t blame them

    24)misanthropes.” nice rant on hating people there. you do understand irony, right?

    I bet you don’t understand irony or hypocrite. Are Americans really that stupid or what,

    25)oh my god, you’re so big…
    Oh goodness sake, Your words are so retarded.

  • Jeff Forsythe

    Oh; well I suppose there is a immeasurable dissimilarity between an commonplace henchman and an evil henchman

    Jeff

  • http://drdreadful.blogspot.com Dr Dreadful

    [I've just banned "Richard Lawson" for using multiple usernames, persistent personal attacks and bringing the site into disrepute. FYI.

    Assistant Comments Editor]

  • Jeff Forsythe

    I say, good show!

    Jeff

  • zingzing

    doc: [I've just banned "Richard Lawson" for using multiple usernames, persistent personal attacks and bringing the site into disrepute. FYI.]

    FOR FUCK’S SAKE. it was just getting fun… :((((

  • http://handyfilm.blogspot.com handyguy

    It was also threatening to get as long as War and Peace.

  • Jeff Forsythe

    The last few minutes of this give clear instructions on how to sing any National Anthem

    Jeff

  • zingzing

    hey–you just delete my entire comment? WHHHHYYYYY? i know it was a foolish exercise, but that did take me some time.

  • zingzing

    seriously, that shit took me forever and he wasn’t banned at the time and i demand–DEMAND–it gets put back up.

    integrity, doc. integrity.

    also, i want last word.

    boing.

  • zingzing

    i’ll never forgive you, doc. never. you and me, we’re enemies now. i’ll swallow your soul. where do you live again? i’m coming. coming to get you. picachu. alan vega is telling me all about frankie teapdrop and i know why he snapped. this is why. i’m coming. (i’ll wash my pants before i arrive, i swear.)

  • http://www.maskedmoviesnobs.com El Bicho

    He lives in Fresno. You do not want to go there

  • zingzing

    i will be satisfied.

  • http://takeitorleaveit.typepad.com/ roger nowosielski

    What was your comment, zing? You’re pretty good at couching even the most outrageous things with humor.

    Have you really overstepped?

  • zingzing

    no, i think mine was deleted as a consequence of the guy being banned. i was certainly planning on having bits of it censored, but overall, it was just some fun.

  • http://takeitorleaveit.typepad.com/ roger nowosielski

    Indeed it was. I was looking forward to more of it.

  • http://takeitorleaveit.typepad.com/ roger nowosielski

    Just as Ruvy is fun, in a manner of speaking.

  • http://blogcritics.org/writers/dr-dreadful/ Dr Dreadful

    zing, sorry, but the guy overstepped the mark and had to go. So, therefore, did anything you subsequently posted in response. In hindsight I probably should have deleted the whole exchange, but oh well.

    Cleanup is often messy. Sorry again.

  • http://takeitorleaveit.typepad.com/ roger nowosielski

    I’m certain though, Dreadful, that zing didn’t take it as an affront. It’s unlike him, and I’m sure you know it.

    So don’t expect him knocking on your door in Fresno, clean shaven or not, whatever the state of his pants.

  • http://blogcritics.org/writers/dr-dreadful/ Dr Dreadful

    I know, Rog, and I did feel for him having gone to all that effort only to see it zapped.

    The whole thing was getting extremely puerile, though.

  • http://takeitorleaveit.typepad.com/ roger nowosielski

    I’m aware of that. I posted it mainly for zing’s benefit, to cheer him up as it were.

  • Jeff Forsythe

    Most likely it was for the best all round that he put paid to the dog’s dinner

    Jeff

  • http://takeitorleaveit.typepad.com/ roger nowosielski

    Now, Jeff, that’s a kind of lingo I have trouble with.

    I’m certain it wouldn’t be the case if I were a Brit.

  • Jeff Forsythe

    No worry Roger, having English ancestry, and being raised on the isle of St. Helena in the mid-Atlantic, Scotland, the U.S. and then Canada, I must acknowledge that at times I do not even comprehend myself, particularly when I have just returned home here in Utopia from abroad.

    Jeff

  • http://takeitorleaveit.typepad.com/ roger nowosielski

    No need to be self-denigrating, Jeff. I just don’t understand the idiom.

  • Jeff Forsythe

    Translation: It is just as well that Dreadful cleaned up the dreadful mess.

    Jeff

  • Jeff Forsythe

    “so to speak”

  • http://takeitorleaveit.typepad.com/ roger nowosielski

    Well, that’s well put, Jeff.

    And I do hope you don’t hold my ignorance of the native tongue against me. After all, English is only my second language. But I try as best I can.

  • Jeff Forsythe

    Upon returning from extended excursions throughout Europe on business, my chums take delight in informing me that my phraseology is a bit similar to Yoda from Star Wars.

    Jeff

  • Jeff Forsythe

    In correct arrangement my vocabulary was; was it not?

    Jeff

  • http://takeitorleaveit.typepad.com/ roger nowosielski

    It’s OK, Jeff. If you want me to regard you as a specimen, I will.

    Still, I think you’d be a helluava person to meet for a pint or two.

    We might have a good conversation.

  • http://takeitorleaveit.typepad.com/ roger nowosielski

    And BTW, I too can speak in circles, among the initiates.

  • Jeff Forsythe

    One of my principal tribulations in my travels is finding myself at a booze up and getting accustomed to cold ale, and then warm proper ale and then chilled lager again (burp)

    Jeff

  • http://takeitorleaveit.typepad.com/ roger nowosielski

    You should try Travels with my Aunt.

  • http://blogcritics.org/writers/dr-dreadful/ Dr Dreadful

    Or Charley’s Aunt.

  • zingzing

    or travels with charley.

    and no, i’m not really mad at doc. i understand why it (supposedly) had to be done, and it was for the reason i suspected. still sucks. but what can you do… spilled milk, etc, etc.

  • IKR??

    I’m american. I totally agree. We’re fat, ugly, stupid slobs.

  • CCC

    You are going to die of a heart attack worring about us fat asses. Your craveing a big fat ass burger right now and you wonder why your so mad? CHILL!! and go to Mcdonalds and get your fix like the rest of us and shut the hell up! LOL

  • K$

    It’s kind of true that people are ignorant…not stupid, though. Everyone has the capability to understand, just many Americans choose not to.
    The fact is that our environment really IS very impractical for walking. I just got back from Japan and let me tell you, everyone walks/rides public transit/rides bikes. But that is because there is a grocery store in every single little town, everything is condensed, companies are very prevalent, everywhere. It is very, very easy to walk to the grocery store, train station, elementary school, etc. within 10 mins. To get to high school, it usually takes longer, but then they can just walk 10 minutes to the train. American public transit sucks, and once the government gets on that and builds trains in more locations, and normal people instead of just creepy bums start riding public transit, I am sure there will be a change in the way people move around here.