In other news proving, once again, that They are not like Us, Good Charlotte guitarist Benji Madden, brother of Good Charlotte frontman, Joel Madden (and, so far as I can tell, no relation to John Madden), ragged on the lovable Kelly Clarkson for—and I quote—”dissing” Hilary Duff, who happens to be Joel Madden’s girlfriend.
Apparently, the lovable Kelly Clarkson, no doubt alluding to those wacky celebrity boxing matches, made a joke about how she would love to get in the ring and battle fellow Texans Hilary Duff and Beyonce Knowles. (Which I think would be an improvement over battling Paula Jones and Tanya Harding. But I digress.)
Battle of the Bootylicious, anyone?
I’m just wondering: how is this—stating in a joking manner that one would like to “get in the ring” with this or that person—a diss?
Of course, I’m not advocating that Kelly Clarkson actually put on some gloves and start pulling sucker punches on either Ms. Duff or Ms. Knowles.
I mean, you never know: Hilary just might start doing that silent drill dance routine thingy from Cadet Kelly and that’s enough to freak anybody into forfeiting the round.
(BTW, I can’t mention Cadet Kelly without recalling for you Hilary’s most famous line. She’s shining Army boots and says to another cadet, “Excuse me, sir, may I borrow some spit? I promise I’ll pay you back!”)
However, if we’re talking about singing here, let’s just be clear: Kelly Clarkson has the pipes to blow both those other gals off the mat. No contest. Please. Clean up on aisle six.
That doesn’t mean that the gazillion of Hilary and Beyonce fans are wrong. Of course not.
Hilary Duff and Beyonce Knowles are perfectly lovable singers themselves and perfectly suitable objects of fandom, if that’s what floats your boat.
It just means that in a vocal chord to vocal chord competition, Ms. Clarkson would be hard to beat.
And she knows it.
Nevertheless—and although he is not the one dating Hilary Duff (or . . . issss heee?)—Benji Madden reportedly took great offense at Kelly’s quip and, according to a copy of the Benji-gram reportedly saved by mtv.com, he blogged:
My mom told me if I didn’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all, so I won’t say ‘Amercian Idol’ sux, but it does make me laugh when someone like Kelly Clarkson disses someone like Hilary Duff. ‘Cause let’s not forget Kelly . . ., you were a ‘contestant’ on a TV show. Hilary made herself.
Ah, such rage against the machine!
Look, inquiring minds want to know: what are the odds that Hilary Duff would have made it as a singer if she had not first incarnated herself as an international tweenie sensation on that tv show, Lizzie McGuire?
What are the odds that, without that little tv show resume item, Lizzie McGuire, Hillary Duff even would have been offered a record contract?
Is there any truth to the rumors that once someone becomes an international tweenie/teen sensation, industry execs start looking around for ways to milk the cow and often suddenly discover that—whoa!—The Sensation maybe can sing? (Not to mention discovering that The Sensation’s face looks good on a lunchbox.)
I mean, if arguing that Hilary Duff’s singing career has had nothing to do with that tv show, Lizzie McGuire, is Benji Madden’s idea of a smackdown, well, goll-eee. Send up the flares.
But what I really want to say is this: here we go again with the schtick that somehow artists discovered through our lovable American Idol discovery machine are not legitimate. They don’t deserve to sell discs. They don’t deserve to be on radio. They don’t deserve to live.
Die, American Idol, die!
But I will say this to the Benji Maddens of the world:
Hello. It’s about the singing.