Home / America is Fired Up Over Voting Fraud!

America is Fired Up Over Voting Fraud!

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The two finalists square off in the first of three debates

Investigate the Voting Process!

The result was rigged. The numbers don’t add up. Thousands of votes weren’t counted.

And millions of Americans are standing up to demand justice!

The person who really won this contest may have already conceded defeat, but time will reveal that America intended to choose Clay Aiken over Ruben Studdard.

The evidence of voter fraud is clear:

  • The machines are obviously rigged since the devices on which most people voted originate from the same region of the country as Clay Aiken’s opponent. The owner of AT&T wireless refuses to allow a paper trail and has privately promised to “deliver Ohio for Ruben.”
  • Before the polls closed, media pundits such as Simon Cowell tried to influence the outcome by discouraging Aiken-philes from voting.
  • Once the polls closed, Ryan Seacrest said on Fox that Studdard prevailed by a mere 1,300 votes, while CNN claims he won by a 130,000-vote margin.
  • Some people waited hours to vote! Fox failed to take into account massive voter turnout. Independent reporters are starting to dig up evidence that hordes of Aiken supporters were unable to vote at all, largely because of the disenfranchisement caused by busy phone lines.
  • The ballots was designed to confuse voters, since the number *1* on the telephone is close to the number *2.* Does anybody think thousands of elderly Jewish voters in Florida intended to vote for Ruben Studdard?
  • Most of all, how else can you explain the discrepancies between the official count and the exit polls? Which is to say, how could the results of this election be accurate if Clay Aiken’s album debuted at #1 and Ruben Studdard barely hit the Top 10?

This is as bad as poll taxes and Jim Crow laws!

Well, thankfully, millions of Americans are angry, fired up, and determined to do something about it!

For starters, a bunch of Aikenites filed a complaint with the Federal Communications Commission and called on the FCC to conduct a full investigation.

Moreover, we fellow Aiken-lovers are threatening to file suit in order to get an accurate count and investigate every “extra” and “missing” vote!

Remember: there is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can’t take part! We’ve got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and we’ve got to make it stop. And we’ve got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless Clay Aiken is crowned an American Idol, the machine will be prevented from working at all!

Viva la revolucion!

For other news of voting fraud on less important matters like the presidential election, click here.

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About Junichi

  • RJ

    Belated, but hilarious!

  • Eric Olsen

    besides the humor, I much appreciate the tacit acknowledgment that a fair number of people are very much in grasp at straws mode right now

  • In response to Eric:

    While I have no doubt that some of the allegations of voter fraud are baseless, the point of my post is that there doesn’t seem to be much of a national call for investigating the serious fraud and disenfranchisement issues that resulted from the election.

    Especially among young people, I sensed more outrage over voting issues with regard to American Idol than relating to this last presidential election.

    While progressive websites are making a respectable fuss, the mainstream national media seems to be relegating voting issues to small articles on page B12.

    Even if George W. Bush is the legitimate winner of the election, the pervasive evidence of voting inaccuracies and disenfranchisement begs the question, “Where is the outrage?”

  • Eric Olsen

    hmm, my observation is that there is plenty of outrage but little or no substance

  • RJ