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America: A Citizen’s Guide to Democracy Inaction

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Stoned Slacker aka Blogcritics stars – 4½

Being the sort of stoned slacker that just loves fake news from the Daily Show, and eager to get my fake history on, I naturally ordered America, A Citizen’s Guide to Democracy Inaction from Amazon.com. And, being the stoned slacker that I am, I accidently clicked on the audiobook version, and thank GOD for that, because moving my eyes left to right, left to right, over and over again while simutaneously turning all those fucking pages would have been a real chore for my poor stoned slacker brain to handle, especially considering the subsequent prescription for Oxycotin I was issued, ok well, I wasn’t issued it, I stole it (if illegally obtaining prescription narcotics is good enough for the moral luminary, Rush Limbaugh, it’s good enough for me).

America, A Citizen’s Guide to Democracy Inaction, mocks the orgy of democracy that has flowered (and/or floundered) through the historical time of those ass-sex lovin’ Greeks right up to our own contemporary ass-sex amending geeks. If you’re looking for a book that dismisses thousands of years of history in a headlong rush to get to compelling instances of Thomas Jefferson’s progressive shitting in a bucket, George Washington’s syphillitic honesty, Ben Franklin’s burgeoning crack habit, and why Warren G. Harding was the suckiest president ever, this is the book — or audiobook, rather — for you.

Yes, from wicked retahded English monarchs, to that crazy motherfucker Karl Rove and all the political whackjobs, electile dysfunctions, itty-bitty-titty committees, huge dicks, deficit chickens, soulless grayfaced bureaucrats, jewish homosexual leftists, unfuckable cheerleaders, fillibusters, gerrymanders, douchebags, witch hunts, knowing pornography when you see it, lunchtime abortions, interpretations of the word interpretation, Canadians, genital references, token black people, absent Native Americans, passive conduits, minstral shows, historical footnotes, omnipotent superheroes, hand puppets, rim jobs by Jane Mansfield, Smelt It v Dealt Its, indiscriminate fellatio, peeking under robes, mushroom clouds, closet cases. puppy sodomy, Texans, and transgendered monkeys in comas in between, this book — or audiobook, rather — has it all.

As Thomas Jefferson said regarding America, A Citizen’s Guide to Democracy Inaction, “Funny. Not John Winthrop’s ‘A Comparative Treatese On the Most Unusual Distinctions Twixt the Fairer Species and Her Masculine Counterpart‘ funny, but funny.” I agree.

Equally priceless is Jon Stewart’s raging diatribe leveled against the modern media which more than pays for the price of the book, or audiobook, rather. Just buy it, you cheap fuckers, and if one of you stoned slackers accidently happens to get the text version, I’ll trade ya the audiobook for it.

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About Melisande Luna

  • GAH! I heart Jon Stewart! So trade me.
    I was too lazy too buy a copy, but a friend made sure I got it!
    Excellent kitchiness.

  • I, too, have the audiobook version, since how they say it is a big part of the funny. The downside is I don’t have the naked pix of the Supreme Court, which got the book banned from Wal-Mart. Since the major test for obscenity is inciting a prurient interest in sex, lets you know where Wal-Mart’s mind goes gutter-wise.

  • Melisande

    Heh, I’d’ve never ordered the audiobook, but I agree that their reading of it is a big addition to the humor.

    Thanks, the two of you, for taking the time to pop in and comment. Sorry it took so long to reply in kind, I’m busier than a one legged chick in an ass kicking contest (that mental image always cracks me up)