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Alternate History

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Gore wins a few thousand more votes from a slightly-less-confused elderly electorate in Palm Beach County. He becomes President in 2001. Bush becomes a short-lived contributor to FoxNews.

9/11 happens on schedule.

Gore goes to the UN for approval to bomb Afghanistan. Two months later, he gets 2-0 approval from the Security Council (France, Russia, and Red China all abstain) for a limited bombing campaign against agreed-upon “terrorist” targets. All these target have, by now, been long-evacuated. Some camels die, and some tents burn. Gore declares victory.

Gore places the 2nd Amendment in his crosshairs in early 2002. After all, terrorists are just as likely to shoot Americans as fly aircraft into major national landmarks. In the Gore version of the Patriot Act, Republicans reluctantly (in an election year) agree to allow the registration of all guns, including rifles, shotguns, and bee-bee guns.

Using their still-existing base in Afghanistan, Osama and friends manage to kill Pakistan’s pro-Western military dictator (Pervert Mushroom? I can never remember his name…) and Pakistan falls into the hands of lunatic Muslims (my apologies for being redundant). Pakistan’s new pro-terror Theocracy sells some small nukes to various international terrorists.

In late 2002, New York City, Tel-Aviv, and Moscow are all suitcase-nuked. The Russians respond by gassing every living Chechen. Israel pushes all residents of Gaza into Egypt and all residents of the West Bank into Jordan. They are accused of “ethnic cleansing” by the EU, and sanctions are imposed. The US responds by going back to the UN for an international conference on weapons of mass destruction…

You all can take it from here.

Tell me, is this a better world, or a worse one?

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About RJ

  • Roland

    Suitcase nukes might be a problem. American scientists claim they have never been able to construct a nuclear device that weighed less than 163 pounds.

  • JR

    Suitcase nukes might be a problem. American scientists claim they have never been able to construct a nuclear device that weighed less than 163 pounds.

    Not a problem. The suitcases would have been fitted with super-secret anti-gravity devices that Saddam Hussein would surely have developed had Al Gore been president.