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All The World’s A Stage – For Wal-Mart Expansion, That Is

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“My heart is filled with pride…I long to tell you how deep my love for Wal-Mart is…” – Lyrics from the fight song of a Wal-Mart store in Shenzhen, China.

Who would have ever thought that a good ol’ boy from Arkansas by the name of Sam Walton would make mincemeat out of Mao and his Marxist malarkey? It all boils down to one thing, essentially. There’s nothing people the world over like better than stuff and nobody provides stuff to the masses more efficiently and cheaply than Wal-Mart. Now that China has been infiltrated by capitalism’s ultimate dragon, Marxism doesn’t have a prayer of surviving “Mart-ism.”

Is there anything in this world that could have been more inevitable than that Wal-Mart would end up in China? The big-box retail behemoth could hardly have ignored over a billion potential customers forever. Three years ago, there were 25 stores in China, there are 56 now, and the plan is for 20 more by the end of this year. Beyond that, the sky is the limit.

It’s all part of Wal-Mart’s massive expansion plan designed to achieve world retail domination with the cold and calculating efficiency of a military blitzkrieg. But that expansion won’t be limited strictly to China and other overseas locations. You may think there are enough Wal-Marts in the United States already, and with over 3,800 stores, who could argue? Well, get ready for 5,000 more in the next few years. That’s the plan, anyway, and Wal-Mart doesn’t fool around.

Before this expansion is over, there could be, in some suburban areas, 180,000 square foot Wal-Mart supercenters within five miles of each other. The rational mind cries out to know how that could possibly be necessary or in any way reasonable. In the words of Wal-Mart CEO Lee Scott a few years ago, “I’m not trying to be flippant, but simply put, our long-term strategy is to be where we’re not.”

Nothing flippant about that. The Wal-Mart powers-that-be have a very matter-of-fact vision of the world: wall-to-wall Wal-Marts. One can almost imagine a shadowy command center buried deep inside Wal-Mart’s global headquarters where the plotting of world domination occurs. In one room there would be a gigantic map of the United States divided into thousands of grids. Each of those grids would either contain at least one store or no store at all. The simple and overarching objective would be to eventually fill in all of those storeless grids that aren’t devoid of human population. And if that means ruining the downtown business district of every small to mid-sized town in America, well, collateral damage is inevitable.

The expansion plans call not only for more stores, but more and various products to fill them up. If you think about it, is there really much of anything that Wal-Mart couldn’t provide, if it wanted to, in its maniacal drive to expand its customer base?

When it gets right down to it, who’s to say Wal-Mart couldn’t become our main cradle-to-grave provider of just about everything? In fact, if you’re into imagining extreme scenarios, if Wal-Mart started providing medical care and undertaking services, they could actually bring us into the world and take us back out again, while selling us everything we need in the interim.

If even joking about being sent off on one’s journey to eternity by the funereal department of a Wal-Mart sends a chill up and down your spine, don’t worry. It probably hasn’t been officially spelled out in Wal-Mart’s five-year or even ten-year plan. On the other hand, the day will inevitably have to come when Wal-Mart’s growth slows down and its whiz-bang executives are racking their brains for new products and services to sell.

In recent years a debate has sprung up about the pros and cons of this giganto retail corporation we know as Wal-Mart. The arguments have become nearly as rabid as those that get screamed from either side of the abortion issue. Personally, I’m on the fence, leaning toward the negative.

It’s not that the possibility of the country being commercially dominated by and pockmarked with thousands upon thousands of these ugly boxes is terrifying in some sort of horror movie-like sense. Instead, it’s the idea that the country could eventually be transformed into a dismal and stultifyingly homogenous Wal-Mart nation and that nobody would particularly care as long as they could get everything they need at rock bottom prices.

I’m not calling for a boycott here, but if the prospect of Wal-Marts every five miles isn’t exactly your idea of America the beautiful, you may want to consider buying most of your stuff elsewhere, before it’s too late.

As for Wal-Mart in China, however — whatever it takes to deliver a knockout blow to Marxism.

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About gstrange

  • Dave Nalle

    Sounds like fantastic news. No one deserves WalMart more than the Chinese.

    Dave

  • Nancy

    Latest news is Walmart is trying to get into banking.

  • http://www.thebluesmokeband.com Brian Sorrell

    “If you think about it, is there really much of anything that Wal-Mart couldn’t provide….”

    Let’s start with quality.

  • SonnyD

    Hey, I’d go for a Walmart funeral. What little money is left when I go, I’d much rather see go to my kids than to some blood-sucking, over-priced funeral home. Thanks for suggesting it.

  • SonnyD

    Brian: Take a good look around, quality has gone down everywhere. Walmart is no worse and, in some cases, is even better than the competition. As an example, Consumer Report magazine tested bathroom tissue. Charmin Ultra got first place for softness but was not recommended for use with septic systems. Walmart’s White Cloud store brand tested almost as soft and breaks down better in septic systems and it costs less. Guess which one I’m buying now. In fact, I’m testing their other store brand products against the well known higher priced products that I had been buying.

    I went into Walmart yesterday to buy three things that I couldn’t get where I normally shop for groceries. I came out with a cartful. We don’t have a Walmart superstore here, but they do have a few groceries. Why should I pay over $4 for 64 oz. Welche’s grape juice when I could get it for $2.79? What’s the difference in quality? It’s the same product at either store.

    The bottom line is MY bottom line. I’m not rich, but I do look for quality as well as price. I’m going to buy where I find both and I don’t care if the store does look like a box. Maybe it’s cheaper to build a store that looks like a box and helps keep their prices down.

  • RedTard

    I like to see how pissed off the elitist left gets when people exercise there freedom to shop at walmart.

    As usual, they want to use the government as a weapon to force others to think like them and curb in the retailer.

    Congratulations to WalMart for bringing retail efficiency, which benefits everyone, to China.