Since baseball season’s still a couple of months away, and since football season is winding down, I’ve been forced to amuse myself lately by watching the most banal of American sports: politics.
I’ve found that huffing spray paint and watching CSPAN can make for a pretty interesting afternoon (did you know that if you watch the Alito confirmation hearings with the sound turned down and play Pink Floyd’s The Wall, the two are in sync?), and besides – is there really any other way to make sense of American politics?
It seems like the Republicans all seem to have a collective boner for the guy, and the Democrats are all scared that he’s gonna turn out to be a radical conservative or something (Ted Kennedy’s accused the dude of everything from being unclear on his stance on activist judges to lying about his supermodel girlfriend who lives in Canada). But mostly people are wondering about how he stands on the whole Roe v. Wade issue.
And I, for one, hope that he does change the United States’ policy on abortion. Most Americans would agree that hunting purely for sport (i.e. not even eating the animal that you kill) is ridiculous and immoral, but there seems to be a double-standard when it comes to killing babies. I have nothing against killing babies (in fact it could be said that I’m pro-baby-killing), but aborting unborn children purely for sport is just plain wrong. Most baby-killing is done without the intent of ever eating the aborted fetus, and it’s high-time that that changed. I think the United States’ law should require all doctors who perform abortions to eat the fetus after the abortion procedure.
This is only fair.
So to Judge Alito, I say: Godspeed, you magnificent bastard. May you make right the double-standard that has left many abortion clinic-doctors with fat wallets, but empty stomachs, for decades.