“We all make mistakes, boss. That’s why they put rubber on the ends of pencils.”
And nowadays everyone knows about them. Just ask Tiger Woods.
That lovely line from Allen Jenkins to Humphrey Bogart in William Wyler’s film Dead End is of course outdated in this day and age. You can’t erase your mistakes anymore, not with the web and cell phone video cameras and email archives and everybody, in this fame-crazy culture that makes celebrities out of housewives, tweeting and texting their own and everyone else’s every move in real time.
In his spot-on article “Tiger’s Imperfect World,” Yahoo Sports writer Dan Wetzel observes, “In a perfect world, the public wouldn’t be obsessed with celebrity gossip.” But as The Killers sing, “This is the world that we live in.”
It’s the world in which people hate other people for being different, in which homophobia is alive and well, in which contradictions and hypocrisy abound, in which some people get away with stuff and others don’t, and in which Disney/ABC cancels, cancels, and cancels Adam Lambert’s ass.
Why? They set him up for controversy and ratings — “seemed to give him all the rope they could, just hoping he’d use it,” wrote one reader — and then pulled the rug out from under him. The GMA cancellation — okay, that was chicken-shit prudence. Yeah, it would be peachy if they’d had Adam’s balls and didn’t honor the “marginal” – as they termed it – number of objectors, or their advertisers, and stood behind the wild child and the millions who didn’t complain, but one strike and you’re out? No, that is nothing less than cruel and unusual punishment. F*** you, ABC!
I know of “someone” (not his real name) who once “acquired” an “item” that belonged to someone other than him, an item he procured through an outrageous stunt that involved a physical feat of derring-do, so that he could present said item to “someone” (not her real name) as a token of his affection. It turns out that this item was worth in excess of a certain number of that green stuff they call “dollars,” making the stunt something they call a “felony.” When a “certain person” (not his real name) found out “the Man” (his real name) was after the someone who took the item, he thought it was a joke. “For God’s sake,” he exclaimed, “don’t they know it was just a prank?!”
That’s how the Adam Lambert American Music Awards/ABC kerfuffle strikes me: a prank being treated like a felony.
That’s why Joal Ryan put it, “It’s a sexy job, but Adam Lambert’s gotta do it!” Bless his heart.
Adam said he had an identity crisis when it came time to put the CD together. Everyone should have such a crisis. He came out strutting his stuff and looking better than ever. Never stop strutting, Adam. As one reader put it, “His out-of-this-world talent must be nurtured but not neutered.”
In navigating the turbulent, treacherous waters of insta-fame and fortune and artistic development, Adam will get by with a little help from his friends. We should not follow him blindly, said one commenter, but be clever fans, offering him guidance and support where it’s needed. Time to rally, peeps! You can start by boycotting ABC.
Another reader suggested, simply, “Love him with every beat of your heart.” I have faith his essential goodness and touched-by-God talent will prevail over those who want him to fail. The Killers, once again: “This is the world that we live in /I still want something real /This is the world that we live in / I know that we can heal over time.”
We all know, there are only two types of people in the world, depending on who you are and what you’re trying to prove. For this article, they are those who are, and those who are not, “susceptible” to Adam Lambert. If you hate him or his shrieking vocal style, are indifferent to him, like him well enough, admire his singing but not his persona, find him laughable, ridiculous or a poser, you are all under the “not susceptible” umbrella. To those who are susceptible, enough said.
This sweet young man, whatever anybody thinks of him, has transformed — yes, transformed — a lot of people’s lives in surprising, dramatic, joyful, and liberating ways. Adam makes us not only want to listen to music again, he makes us want to laugh, lust, love, live again.
In case you hadn’t heard, the same day his GMA appearance was canceled over his raunchy behavior, he was also named AOL Kids’ “Artist of the Month.” About the GMA cancellation Adam was firm: “I’m not a babysitter.” In the AOL interview he was wistful: “Fluffernutter is so good!”
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