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A Liberal Wants the GOP Back

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I hope the GOP wins enough to make government good again for business. Not because the GOP stands for anything other than noise making, like a bunch of petulant fogies, women and men. It doesn’t make any difference, in the short term. But then, you see, once they do get back into government will I get to pick on them just because they are there. Right now it is like hunting in a baited field.

Besides, our government works best when the power is balanced between the parties. Independents do not count in this arrangement, Independents are opportunists. I do not like an executive and legislative branch to be of the same ilk because that is bad for business, the real kind.

The real kind of business is about making profit and protecting your people, not one or the other. At the conclusion of the Bush administration came that good old division of labor about which I wax. All it could do was to figure out where the brake pedal was and how to get the government’s foot to it. That is why the Clinton administration produced a surplus of money. There was legislative opposition that meant something other than sound bites.

OK, forget what you never really learned.

There are 5 branches of government in our world, according to me. Judicial, Executive and Legislative are the first three – the ones they taught in high school while you were busy being hormone driven, hungry and bored. Those branches would be the ones that Tommy J wrote down and his buds legislated two centuries ago. Never mind all of that other crap you kind of learned. It’s wrong. The Constitution says what it is, but I digress.

There are two other branches of government, according to me.  The fourth branch is bureaucracy. Bureaucracy’s job is to protect the soft underbelly of the government and to spend all of the money it is budgeted. Never mind what it is supposed to do, its job is to spend all of the money in its budget so it can request more next year, and the year after that. It is like the begetting in the Bible and all of those pyramid-shaped organization charts. Congress is elected. Bureaucrats are forever. Congress funds bureaucracies. Bureaucrats are appointed public servants with staff. That is Biblical.

The fifth branch is media. We have a noble calling to keep an eye on the other four branches of government and report their findings to the public, which indirectly supports it by advertising, a creature of media. Thus media is represented by unelected, non-appointed public officials with staff and no congressional budget. Media is a protected species under law. We are unprotected commodities under business practice.  If it’s in print, it must be true. If you didn’t hear it on radio, it’s bull. Twitter is bird shit. The birds are healthy and so is the bull upon which these birds feed.

My radio contemporary, Rush Limbaugh, gets his salary from a company that has been going under and which has laid off thousands of its employees. Let me just say how cool it is to walk into a room and meet people who have just been arguing about something you recently said or wrote. It is infinitely more difficult to generate such a discussion than may be imagined by folks that don’t do such a thing for a living.  Even [and especially] Rush’s new rivals, Beck and Palin, are blessed because they really are not saying anything, from a content point of view, and generating excitement, kind of like eating potato chips dipped in sauce. So it would be really good if the GOP could find someone other than Gingrich to talk for them.

John “Suntan” Boehner [Bay-ner] may be a Newt protégé but a speaker he ain’t.  He is still going to the bathroom just to look at himself in the mirror, pat his face, light a cigarette, drop to his knees and say, “He said my name on TV. He said my name. Eight times! Thank you, Mr. President. No more little blue pills. Someone’s got to talk to my mentor.” He has a constitutional right to privacy.

That is why I want the GOP to return to government: balance. I look forward to debating Rush, the former voice of the GOP. We both became disc-jockeys when we were in high school – he was the chubby and I was the lanky with ears. Our idols included Don Imus and Larry Lujack. I am selfish about such stuff and I love to digress.

The Republicans need to come back to governing so there are prize fighters in the ring. The GOP can train, return to health, and help re-elect the president.

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About Tommy Mack

Tommy Mack began his career in broadcasting and is a US Army graduate of the Defense Information School. He worked in Army Public and Command Information and earned a BS in Liberal Studies from the State University of New York, Albany. A marketing communications executive, Tommy became a business management consultant for a major international consulting company and its affiliates before establishing Tommy Mack Organization, a business consulting practice specializing in organization and communications management. A professional writer and blogger, he writes about politics, business, and culture.
  • Tommy,

    The media isn’t a very good branch of government, as they are privately funded and owned. Can you elaborate?

    After Obama is re-elected we will still need to move this country forward. The GOP will still obstruct…


  • JD

    That is exactly where the GOP needs to be –the loyal opposition, and as I said, “smart.” I’ll tell you the tale about a lad that sold rabbit droppings as ‘magic pills’ later.

    I fail to recognize tea party anything except for its noise. That Ross Perot carried a state and confused another one came into play. So did former President TR who also split the Republican Party with his Bull Moose.

    The 5th Branch expands itself. TJ and the Boyz saw that coming, maybe.

    (to Thomas Jefferson, one of the Boyz in the Revolution)

    OK, how about 2010, for fuck sake? What will they think then, mate?”

    (looks at himself in a mirror, adjusts his wig)

    You say they have to think?