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A Letter To Adam Carolla

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Dear Adam,

Please Stop. It’s bad enough that Comedy Central is promoting one untalented comedian in the same light as Dave Chappelle (Carlos “beaner” Mencia), they don’t need two guys taking up valuable time slots for Colbert Report repeats.

Here’s the thing: When you have a studio audience that chooses to be there to see your show and NOBODY LAUGHS, there is a problem with the content of the show… or perhaps just the host. I’ve never seen any “comedian” with worse comic timing or delivery. Take the worst parts of ranting angry politically incorrect white men and add in some awkward silences between host and guest and you’ve got Too Late with Adam Carolla.

I recently watched a full episode based entirely on the fact that bearded hero Zach Galifianakis (no, not Andy Milonakis) was on. Zach read actual viewer hate mail to Adam Carolla and the only laughs from the entire studio audience were from the hate mail and the jokes Zach made. Any retort or joke Adam made fell flat with absolute rolling tumbleweed silence. Hate mail is only funny when it is grossly exaggerated and makes the writer look stupid, not the other way around. The hate mail was justified criticisms of his show. This must be a sign to the writers/producers of the show, right??

The oddest thing is that the show isn’t all bad. Adam does have some funny observations and complaints, and even more rarely, has some funny off the cuff one liners. But both are so rare that when they actually happen it catches the audience off guard and they aren’t sure if they can laugh. It takes them so long to figure it out that, by that time he’s moved on to another painfully unfunny segment, they can’t laugh at all.

Worst of all, on a recent episode where he did a potentially funny segment called “Songs I Never Have To Hear Again” (or something), he totally ruined it and stood in complete contradiction to reason when he chose songs like Hall & Oates classic chart topper “Man Eater”, adding his clever prefered name for the group, “Hall & Crap”. His guest, Carson Daly, the foremost expert on horrible pop music, sat there shaking his head saying “are you serious?” and at times looking around the studio as if to say “um, even I can’t save this sketch…”. Fact: Everybody loves Hall & Oates, it’s a scientific fact.

His few good comedic qualities were welcomed on The Man Show, a show where satire of political correctness and anti-feminism were fresh and funny, but it is now painfully clear that the weight of the show was carried mostly on the shoulders of recognized funny man Jimmy Kimmel, whose career is legitimized if for no other reason than his relationship to the queen of offensive but quality humor, Sarah Silverman. Maybe Adam needs a funny girlfriend? Or at the very least a funny co-host. But The Man Show is long gone and somehow Adam Carolla continues to have a career that gets less and less funny with every year.

Why does Adam Carolla get a late night talk show, a reality home repair show, a long history in radio and a new spot as Howard Stern’s replacement (HOWARD STERN’S REPLACEMENT) when there are SO many more qualified talents that could do so much better?

-Jordan
ed: JH. re-ed: CR:-)

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About Jordan Clifford

  • http://bonamassablog.us Joanie

    The very sad thing is that Zach Galifianakis had a show (back when Carson Daly was just starting his) in 2002 – it was funny and irreverent – and it got cancelled after 9 weeks. The fact that he can go on Carolla’s show and be funnier than the host should tell the producers something.

    Down with Adam Carolla! Long live Zach Galifianakis!

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    * When you have a studio audience that chooses to be there to see your show and NOBODY LAUGHS, there is a problem with the content of the show

    Maybe this is what I always assumed, but they went with a format that didn’t have such trite audience laughter that slowed down the show.

    If there’s one thing that bugs me about The Daily Show and Late Night with Conan O’Brien, it’s the several seconds of needless hooting and hollering from the audience that takes away from the show’s content.

    And it’s not like they couldn’t add in pre-recorded laughter if they wanted.

    Also, how large is their studio audience?

  • Eric Olsen

    very good job Jordan, haven’t seen this show but have never ever ever got the appeal of Carolla back to his KROQ days – zero personality, wooden delivery. This does not bode well for the Stern replacement committee

  • Tyler Newton

    It’s funny to see how Carolla has gone from Loveline (Which he still does, to his credit…others in his shoe would have left the show a long time ago) to the Man Show to a show on Comedy Central AND TLC…

  • http://www.temptationwaits.com visualsimplicity

    Not a big Adam Carolla fan (I found The Man Show to be incredibly dull and juvenile) but have always felt his presence on Loveline was/is a good thing though (it’s a nice contrast to Drew), so he’s not all that bad.

  • http://www.mediawave.blogspot.com Jordan

    I agree that there is credit to Adam being on a show like Loveline and still being on it, but honestly I’m surprised he’s allowed to be on. When I watched Loveline on MTV I couldn’t understand how Adam got on in the first place, it seemed his only purpose was to interupt Dr. Drew and annoy the piss out of him. Dr. Drew’s reaction to everything Adam said was soemthing like “um, yes, that’s funny, but this is a real problem we need to take seriously”. I honestly didn’t think Drew could stand him at all, and I didn’t find him funny then either.
    I just don’t get his appeal, or should I say I firmly believe he doesn’t have any

  • http://www.1iota.com/show.aspx?sid=8 ms

    FYI, I believe that Carolla stoped taping the show with an audiance after a couple weeks. He has talked about it on Loveline quite a bit. For the first couple weeks, he was asking for LL listeners to get tickets & come for a taping.

    He never really wanted to have an audience, and after it wasn’t working, the producers finally conceded and got rid of the audiance. see the link (at http://www.1iota.com), and it states “THIS SHOW WILL BE SHOOTING WITH NO AUDIENCE FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS.” This message has been up there for a month or so now.

    One other thing, Carolla is not doing Loveline anymore (November 3rd was his last show). The hours conflicted due to early hours on his new Stern replacement show.

  • Nick G

    Stop hating on Adam Carolla! He is hilarious and you are jealous!

  • bILLY bOB

    Adam Carolla has one incredible talent and thats it.
    But he is the best at that one talent – ad libing.
    The only ones to come close to his ability are John Stewart and Conan O’Brien.
    Adam is a genius at off-the-cuff remarks.
    Period.

  • Anus The Menace

    Adams great. Bring him back Comedy Central, Nobody wants to see Drawn Together or South Pork, So bring back Adam!

  • PeePee Monger

    Adam’s the Shizz-natch. I agree with Anus-man. Two weeks ago I rushed home everyday after work to see Adam on time, only to be dissapointed because they were showing South Park. OK, I get it already, South Park wasn’t funny when it first got on the air and it sure as hell aint funny now. Adams dry and witty (Yes, I said witty) humour leave me wanting more. If anything Adams show should be ONE HOUR long instead of Half hour. I encourage ALL you Adam fans to Email, write and even call Comedy Central and tell them Brng Back Adam! Call Adam’s show directly and give support (1 866 439 2326)I hope to see Adam on the air back again very soon.

  • Gonzo

    I love Adam and his show(s) His show is the only one I’ve been watching on Comedy Central and I know of at least 17 people who do the same. So where the hell is he all of a sudden?
    I’ve called the show a few times and the recording say’s that the show is currently on hiatus. Hopefully this is true and Adam will be back very soon.

  • gonzo marx

    firstly…Corolla is a nice car, but a shitty comedian

    second…don’t take my fewkin’ “name” in vain

    i remain O.G.

    original gonzo

    accept no substitutes

    Excelsior!

  • Canadian Beaver

    Adams Cool. Why is it that Adam’s show get’s cancelled, Yet Tony Danza and Andy Dyck (Dick?) STILL remain on the air!!!???
    Adams the king of ad libing, original and funny as F&#@! If your going to attack anyone, at least go for someone who deserves it, like Danza.

  • Donny

    You definatly know its a cold day in hell when Richard Karn still remains to host Family Feud, but Adam gets cancelled.

  • http://www.mediawave.blogspot.com Jordan, The Author

    I can’t believe so many positive comments came in… positive towards Adam, that is.
    What is wrong with everyone? I didn’t write this for people to respond saying how cool Adam is. I mean, you can say that if you want to, I welcome opposing viewpoints… but some people don’t even seem to recognize that the letter is anti-Adam.

    I’d like to think this letter was the reason why Adam’s show got cancelled or postponed or whatever… You can all say whatever you want about supporting Adam over Tony Danza, but ya know what? I still love saying “Aaay ooh, oooh ayy!”, and the other important thing to consider is that NO ONE THINKS TONY DANZA IS FUNNY, and he’s not on a late night comedy talk show.
    Adam is, and he isn’t funny either. That’s the problem. Or rather, it WAS the problem.

    Problem solved. Thanks for hearing me, Comedy Central.
    Next on my Needs To Be Canceled List:
    Mind Of Mencia

    lets hear your praise for that moron

  • http://www.mediawave.blogspot.com Jordan, The Author

    Oh yea, and a few responses:
    A. I am not jealous of Adam. Do I think I could do better with a 30 minute time slot (with or without an audience)? Um, ABSOLUTELY. Do I know that idiots who arent funny get their own tv shows all the time? Yes, I do watch tv so it’s pretty obvious.
    I’m not jealous, I just don’t care for him. Really what it comes down to is that I feel bad for him… He did have a studio audience when I wrote this letter, and whether they were fans or not they didn’t seem to find him funny, just like me.

    B. Yes people do want to see “South Pork”. Since it’s not a real show, maybe it will be soon, cause who doesn’t love a show about pork? In the meantime, “South Park” is still on and it remains just as hilarious as it ever was, if not better. Take your South Park bashing elsewhere

    C. Once again people are comparing Adam with no talent unfunny people… well, good job I guess. What of a point is it to say “Richard Karn still remains to host Family Feud, but Adam gets cancelled”? At this point I think Adam could get that job if he wanted it, he hasn’t spread himself too thin on network tv yet…
    Listen, people don’t compare Conan O’Brien to Richard Karn for a reason. Are you really upset that Karn is hosting Family Feud?
    Do you really watch Family Feud anyway?

    and finally
    D. Maybe on Loveline Adam showed his talent for off the cuff remarks (I didn’t think so from what I saw, they were just as stale and awkward as ever), but as far as I can see from his TV show that is one of his worst qualities. That and writing and staring in a talk show.

  • Gonzo

    Well at least your right about Mencia. We can agree on one thing.

  • PurpleFungus

    I love Adam Carolla

    But…

    I agree with everything in Jordan’s expertly worded piece. The show was awful for the simple reason that it didn’t play to Adam’s strengths and highlighted the fact that he simply can not interview.

    He was, in my opinion, his funniest on Loveline reacting to dim-witted callers and occassionally segueing to off-the-cuff rants that were fresh and generally funny. Having viewers call in on Too Late was a weak attempt create the same forum – it never worked. The only funny thing to come of the show are the aforementioned akward moments…how about his unicycle stunt that he attempted 10 times while Bam Margera dozed in his chair?

    I don’t expect to see the show again after flopping so mightily in the coveted post Daily Show slot.

  • Robin the fag

    Mencia kills Kittens

  • D- CUP

    There alot of other shows I would LOVE to see get cancelled before Adams. For instance (In no particular order) The Cobert Report, South Park, Drawn Together, Blah Blah Blah.
    Adams #1 at ad libing. Nobody does it like he does. For anybody else to do that, they would need at least 10 writers and you STILL wouldn’t get the same effect. It just wouldn’t come out right, but Adam is a natural. Thats what makes him funny.

  • http://www.mediawave.blogspot.com Jordan, The Author

    Wow I’ve never heard such blasphemy before. The Colbert Report is absolutely the best and funniest show on tv, no contest. Better than the Daily Show, better than anything. Anyone who doesn’t like or get that show has no business talking about comedy. Or maybe I should say that anyone who hates The Colbert Report would probably like Adam Carolla becuase they don’t know good comedy.

    Attacking Colbert is where I draw the line. It’s bad enough 2 people (maybe the same person) named South Park. I’m sorry, South Park is blatantly funny, you can’t help but laugh and deny that it is intelligent. Adam on the other hand…

  • Becky

    Oooooh, You TV nerds turn me on with your debates over comedy shows. Mmmmmmhmmm.

  • http://www.mediawave.blogspot.com Jordan, The Author

    helll yeaa

  • http://www.mediawave.blogspot.com Jordan, The Author

    I’m a bitch kid?

    I’m not even sure why I bother reading these comments. It’s a nice mix of the stupid and the immature, and if I wanted an open dialogue I wouldn’t have written a letter.

  • Grayboy

    HALL AND OATS? Maybe you’re still getting used to the taste of New Coke and Cool Ranch Doritos. I know “Man Eater” is still in Top 40 rotation in the midwest and Istanbul, but even in 1985 it sucked.

    As far as Adam Carolla goes, I like him. I’m one of his biggest fans. But “Too Late” stinks. It just didn’t hit its mark. On this subject only, we agree.

    But if you want to earn credibility with anyone, keep your taste in music to yourself.

  • http://www.mediawave.blogspot.com Jordan, The Author

    Wow, it’s like no one has a sense of humor on this comment section.. oh wait, that’s probably why most people on here are defending Adam Carolla.
    The point of the letter is that Too Late was awful.
    The bit about “Man Eater” was meant to be humor, but honestly I will not turn it off when I hear it and I have a burned copy of their greatest hits, of which there are many. If you can’t appreciate the greatness of Hall & Oates you have no fondness for the 80’s, and that is fine. I’m not putting them on my top favorite bands or anything, but I’ll throw them on at work when I want to ironically appreciate the band and laugh about how funny the 80s are. I guess no one hear knows what ironic humor is.
    Either way, I don’t think that my musical tastes have anything to do with my credibility but for the record, Carson Daily, while not being the most credible source to turn to for music, understood exactly what I meant about H&O because he knows they rule in an 80s sort of way and publically disagreed with Adam.
    More to the point, the audience didn’t seem to care for Adam’s opinion either because of all the horrible music in the world, H&O is not among the worst, so including them in a very short list of worst songs is just missing the point to me.

  • http://evilofficepolitics.blogspot.com T

    Jordan, I couldn’t agree with you more. Corolla is a joke, he’s a diluted version of the less shittier ( but still utterly crap) Ray Romano.

    I do think that production companies are starving for viewers and they will give anyone with any track record a show. Just look at the tlc show–really do I give a shit about him renovating his family home?

    But, never fear, there will soon be another hack to take his place. My thoughts are that it will be Dane Cook. Maybe I’m wrong but Dane seemed so much funnier in his earlier days.

    The only comedian I would have loved to see have his own show would have been Mitch Hedberg. But, way too sadly, he is not with us anymore.

    SOOOO, we have to put up with this dick until the torch is passed.

    Good article Jordan.

  • Hymi

    YOU CAN TALK ALL THE SHIT YOU WANT ABOUT COROLLA.

    YOU CAN TALK ALL THE SHIT YOU WANT ABOUT COLBERT.

    BUT I’LL BE DAMNED IF YOU TALK SHIT ABOUT MAN EATER.

  • Man Eater

    Colbert Sucks, Mencia Sucks, Hall & Oates Sucks. The only show that matters is The Kids in the Hall. Period.

  • http://www.mediawave.blogspot.com Jordan, The Author

    Right on Hymi. Thank you for someone standing up for Hall & Oates when they can’t stand up for themselves.

    As for Man Eater the commenter, ENOUGH WITH THE COLBERT BASHING. COLBERT IS A FUCKING GENIUS! Seriously, anyone who doesn’t like or get him does not understand clever comedy. Period.
    However you’re right on with Mencia and with KITH. KITH Rules balls.

  • Toady

    I like cookies.

  • junit

    wow colbert is an idiot. his show is terrible. stewart owns that tard and i cant believe that he got his own show. colbert doesnt have “clever” comedy (not compared to adam anyway).

    “your fat”

    “drew pleassssseee”

  • Moe Moe the Retard

    Uh dude,…hate to break the news to ya, but Adam doesn’t have a show.

  • Scott Butki

    Adam’s show was cancelled? That’s great news.

  • MOE MOE THE ‘TARD

    His radio show wasn’t cancelled, but these crazy mutha feckas are trying to say he had his own Comedy Central show.

  • Scott Butki

    He did. It really blew.

  • Chris

    You guys are fuking stupid, If you dont like him why do you talk about him? have you nothing better to do? Duuuuuuuurrrrrrrr. FKing morons.

  • Chris

    PS, IF adam carolla is so bad and so unfunny, why is he literally a millionare and you are not? what makes you so much better to critisize him? If you were a better comedian or a richer person i could understand you all talking shit, but I bet most of you shit talkers are just some pimple faced little bitches who work at Taco bell or pizza hut or maybe even Mcdonalds. Peace Bitches.

  • http://www.mediawave.blogspot.com Jordan

    well, i for one would say i am more talented them him, but thats just me.
    first of all, anyone who judges talent by money is a bigger idiot than anyone commenting on this post.
    and second of all, i have better things to do, but i enjoy writing open letters to people who do unfunny shows. what gives me the right to criticize him? im not sure if you know this website, but it’s called BLOG CRITICS. thats for one. also, because when someone puts out a producted to the public it immediately offers itself up for criticism. that’s how it works, jackass. why are you reading it if you love him so much?

  • chas

    “Personal attacks are not allowed. Please read our comment policy”. Obviously the guard fell asleep.

  • Jake

    “Zach read actual viewer hate mail to Adam Carolla and the only laughs from the entire studio audience were from the hate mail and the jokes Zach made.”

    Wow. Jordon, you are a world-class moron There was no studio audience. The studio audience was removed from the format of the show at this point. I’m glad you didn’t bother to ask yourself why they never showed any shots of the “audience”, or why they wouldn’t just install an applause sign to avoid such a silent “audience” (as is done with every show in the history of television that has had a studio audience). But alas, your retarded brain was unable to connect these painfully obvious dots, at least not before you decided to use said silence of Adam Carolla’s non-existent audience as the basis for your poorly constructed argument. Please do not subject the rest of the internet using public to your hebetudinous “letters” ever again.

  • Woods12

    Adam corolla is a comic genius and just the same way u get paid to do your job is a good indication of how good you are at what u do and that will determine how much money you will make , For example if u make a million dollars selling shoes then u must be a Damn good shoe salesman and if u can throw a 100 mph fast ball then most likely you will get big bucks for ur talent and thats why adam gets paid the big bucks because he can throw 100 mph lyrical fast balls.

  • Craig111

    Um, Too Late With Adam Carolla was not shot in front of a studio audience. They shot a few episodes with an audience but Carolla had always wanted no audience as his belief was that the viewers at home were intelligent enough to laugh when they thought something was funny, instead of being prompted by an audience or canned laughter. Of course that indicates that you didn’t get his humor or you need a laugh track to know when to laugh. That really shows your lack of intelligence.