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A Hillary-Bill Ticket? Make It Happen

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We all knew, once Bill Clinton left presidency in 2000, that at some point his legally-binding life partner Hillary would run for president, prompting Bill to perhaps become the country's first ever First Dude. But it was too much to speculate about who her potential vice president would be — veeps are practically figureheads anyway — although at this point in history it's probably going to be some pretty boy like John Edwards.

An odd idea struck me this week, and the idea resonated stronger as Bill campaigned for Hillary in South Carolina, just as he did in Nevada.

Assuming she nabs the Democratic nomination (Who knows if it'll happen, but let's pretend. Otherwise this column pretty much sucks.), how about Bill Clinton as Hillary Clinton's running mate? Why the hell not? It may not make any sense. In fact, it makes probably so little sense, that it makes too much sense. Did I just blow your mind? Good, now you agree with me.

Anybody suffering from political apathy would be cured with a Clinton-Clinton campaign. People alienated from politics would finally pay attention again. Forget their platforms. A married couple as president and vice president. The First Couple.

Before anybody gets ridiculously excited about the possibility of this, we have to find out if this is in fact constitutionally legal. About two years ago the Washington Post's Peter Baker delved into this very subject, and there are two schools of thought. While the 22nd Amendment limits a U.S. president to two elected terms, it also puts the cap at 10 years, meaning you can squeeze two contingency years in there somewhere. But another clause says if you're ineligible to be President, you cannot be elected vice president. He isn't eligible to be elected, but he can still serve two years.

So let's keep on assuming that Mr. Clinton can still serve a couple more years and is constitutionally allowed to run as vice president. A series of events that would lead to President Bill 33 1/3: The Final Insult is very unlikely. Unless, of course, Bill and Hillary get a divorce while in office, and the ex-husband is granted custody of the house. That would be amazing if it happened. Well, granted, it would probably suck for the welfare of the country and stuff, but let's not think selfishly here. Let's keep some rational perspective. What's important is the entertainment value of the political realm.

The Nation's John Nichols is saying that Bill is hurting Hillary's campaign, a belief held stemming from the bad loss in South Carolina. To which I say, "Step the fuck off, John Nichols. Step. The. Fuck. Off." Even if the Clinton-Clinton '08 ticket isn't successful, it'll sure as hell be a wildly entertaining campaign I had difficulty just being on the same curling team as my college girlfriend. With more on the line than points in a recreational sport, the bickering should be tenfold.

Just imagine:

"Good evening, America. I would like to start off by saying … what?

[unintelligible whispering]

Mr. Clinton, I think the people would like to first hear about our budget plans."

[unintelligible whispering with composed faces]

"Let's … let's not do this now."

[more unintelligible whispering still with composed faces, but barely]

"Fine. Our nation's vice president in charge of gathering attention would like to discuss childhood obesity. I'm only trying to bring our country out of a recession, and Mr. Cantshutup wants to talk about some fat kids. Have at it, Mr. Vice President."

Well, I already know who has my vote.

(Photo credit: Brendan Smialowski/Getty Images)

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  • http://drdreadful.blogspot.com Dr Dreadful

    This should probably be filed as satire. I’m pretty sure we’re not supposed to be taking you seriously, but…

    Anyway, Bill has pretty much categorically ruled himself out. Apart from anything else, the mere floating of the idea would inevitably spark a Supreme Court ruckus that would fatally impact the Clinton campaign.

    Love that photo though. Where did you dig it up?

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    It was taken last March. I’ve seen it before, and I was hoping to find the Reuters version from a slightly different perspective where he’s actually between the legs. Here’s the thumbnail, but I can’t find the hi-rez.

  • peace

    I’m sorry but I have to disagree with your opinion regarding the Clinton-Clinton ’08 ticket. Bill Clinton’s image was tarnished by the Lewinsky’s scandal during his presidency (which should never had happened), thus affected the husband-and-wife relationship between Hillary and himself.
    Would that given him or her a good impression as a good Evangelical Christian as well as competent President of the United States?
    Even if they successfully become Americas next president. Can they solve all of America’s past and current problems? I don’t think so. I have some Christian friends of mine
    who felt shame to be a Christian because of Bill Clinton and George W. Bush evil deeds.
    I think its utter ridiculous that the Clintons can resolve their differences so quickly, just for their own benefit and cause. Give peace a chance, please elect the right and smart US president this time.

  • Baronius

    Excellent article and photo.

  • Herb

    If they get a divorce, Hillary would do it 9 years ago. Is Bill hurting Hillary’s campaign? I do not think so. Once Bill made a speech “all the black vote for Obama, all the women vote for Hillary!” , I think that really helps for Hillary’s campaign. Hillary, I think I grant that eight years of being a very politically involved First Lady do count for something in terms of experience. I think this book “For Love of Politics: Bill and Hillary Clinton” tells everything.

  • Cap

    The photo was brilliant.

    As for the concept of Clinton-Clinton in ’08. I would cry a moment, and then head for Canada.

    I hope that that combo could never become a reality.

  • gervase

    Bill Clinton:
    “But I wanna say one thing to the American people: I want you to listen to me. I’m gonna say this again. I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie. Not a single time, never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people.”

    yeah right!! oh come on…Bill

    Why did you say that to the American people Bill Clinton? Why did you lie to your wife Hillary?
    Why did you scold us for your philandering and why did you lie to us at the same time you were scolding us angrily.

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    You’re all over the map here Gervase, just come right out and say it.

  • http://www.my-virtual-income.com Christopher Rose

    peace/gervase: please confine yourself to just one name when commenting here or I shall be annoyed.

    Blogcritics Comments Editor

  • gervase

    I’m sorry I was frustrated.

  • http://www.my-virtual-income.com Christopher Rose

    Please don’t post your personal contact details either. Maybe you should take a moment to read the Blogcritics Comments Policy

  • gervase

    i made a mistake, sorry about that. pls disregard my comments about Hillary. Apologies for any troubles caused

  • http://www.my-virtual-income.com Christopher Rose

    No problem, you can make any comment you like within reason, just stick to one ID and don’t post personal info, that’s all.

  • gervase

    ok, you have my word and assurance, thanks for your understanding. I really appreciate it.

  • CATE

    OK I HAVE TO SAY i do not think of bill clintons presidence as tarnished because of the lewinsky thing… to me it tarnished the republican party more in the long run.. they chose to go after the man and wast billionsof tax dollars to do so so that the next pres and 8 yrs look where we are ? the oath of office does not say that a president is above being human and that they give up all their private lives .. that should have remained private .. I would rather see those dollars that were used to try to impeach bill .. to look into our current administration .. and his people and how there are many issues about the reasons for war.. putting our troops in harms wayfor one reason but when really it was something else oops..sorry .. bill getting a bj.. whether hillary and him were able to move beyond that is not our business..but it is our contries biz about the economy, the war and our safety ..

    I would think Bill back in the office of VP would be great.. he is a brilliant man.. and they clearly make a great “team”.. if not bill sure id love to see Edwards.. another great man with his heart definately focused on not making $$ and he really wants to make a difference…
    think people….. we voted on emotion for the last two and see where we are.. time to wake up and get smart!!! the welfare of our country is at stake….. to me alot more important than a bj!

  • http://ruvysroost.blogspot.com Ruvy in Jerusalem

    Bill Clinton’s not president anymore? Boy, I feel like I’ve just gotten up from a long sleep and nothing has changed. If he’s not president anymore, why is his wife running around like a professional madame pimping out her little girl?

  • http://journals.aol.com/vicl04/VictorLana Victor Lana

    I got a new name for Bill (thanks to that photo you included, Matt): King Leer! Long live the king! It would actually be a riot if they ran together and won. Maybe Roslyn Carter can be next. Yippee!!

  • http://drdreadful.blogspot.com Dr Dreadful

    why is his wife running around like a professional madame pimping out her little girl?

    And Chelsea Clinton shouldn’t be supporting her own mother’s presidential campaign because…?

  • Clavos

    “And Chelsea Clinton shouldn’t be supporting her own mother’s presidential campaign because…?”

    Because she’s a Libertarian and is voting for Ron Paul?

    Or….She’s a Bilderberger and has orders to derail her mom’s campaign…oh no, wait…that’s Bill’s role — remember, he was a Rhodes Scholar, Doc!

  • gervase

    How about Hillary Clinton as President with Obama/Edwards/Al Gore as her running mate? What do you think?

  • gervase

    The stubborn Americans and Republicans Hawkish Bush did it again by repeating the history of blatant interference into other countries affairs. what can I say the Americans are very ignorant people by unilaterally supporting Kosovo province being the independent country without consulting Serbia and Russia first. This, in my opinion, is totally illegal and extreme disrespect towards Serbia.
    it sets a dangerous precedent in this world
    and threat to world peace..(Don’t they read and learn their history lessons..Do Americans have a foreign policy? I don’t think so..)
    It also touched the sensitive nerve of other countries who longed to breakaway from their motherland — As Kosovo unilateral declaration of independence is considered illegal.. and caused a split in the UN (thanks to America :()
    No wonder America are most hated than other countries. No wonder Americans are most hated so much because of their extreme ignorance, arrogance and ineptitude towards other countries history and feelings.
    I will not recognize Kosovo being an independent country as Kosovo is part of Serbia and province territory of Serbia (Serbian soverignty) it is part of Serbian historic identity,
    and will ALWAYS FOREVER be Serbia and Serbian (period)

  • gervase

    My apologies for such controversial comments if it offended you I guess I was naive, Apologies for any troubles caused Please delete it..thanks

    [No trouble, Gervase, and your comment will stay.

    Blogcritics is an open forum and you can express any views you choose, even if they might offend some readers. We’ll delete personal attacks and comments which are pointlessly idiotic – yours was neither.

    I hope you’re enjoying the site and will continue to comment.

    Thanks,
    Assistant Comments Editor]