It’s not always easy to push forward each and every day.
I am human, though a few may disagree, subject to the normal, mundane happenings that so many other Americans go through on a day-to-day basis. I do everything that you do. I shop, I wake up, I deal with kids, and I pay bills. Normal stuff.
But I wish you could live a day in my body. Just one day. Feel the stares. Feel what it’s like to have others judge you based solely on your size. I do it myself. When I see another fattie – yes, I said fattie – the first thing I think of is, how could that man/woman have let themselves go like that? Then I stop, and especially of late, consider their story. Something in their life caused it.
Just. Like. Me.
What is their story? What caused them to overeat? What caused them to stop loving themselves? I truly believe there is a direct correlation between excess/addiction and mental mindset. I know there is. I am living proof. I don’t need Dr. Phil to chime in and tell me I am stuffing food into my mouth to supplant (my own) emotional well-being. I don’t need a therapist to tell me my mommy and daddy didn’t give me enough attention and too much sugar.
The point I am trying to make?
I’m going to tell you.
I, and maybe you, need to cut the shit and stop blaming underlying causes for our food or addiction issues. Enough of the negative what-ifs. Enough of the eating when we are sad or feeling down on ourselves. You know who gets hurt? I do. Or you do.
By stuffing calories into our mouths, do we help a situation? No, in fact, we cause undue stress on our own bodies and emotional well-being. If you are sitting there with a negative comment at the ready, stop. Think about it and come back in 24 hours. Do you feel the same? Can you prove to me it’s not your own fault?
Let’s call a bullshitter a bullshitter. We are bullshitters, you and I who are suffering with food or addiction issues. We lie to ourselves every day and make excuses for our obsession. Or, maybe we just simply don’t even acknowledge an issue.
If you are obese, or you are taking pills, drugs, or even using sex as a release on a regular basis, you are a liar. You are lying to yourself. You may be, outwardly, the most moral and sincere person on the planet. You never lie to friends or family. But you are still a liar.
I know there are some out there who will vehemently deny this. In your heart. In your soul, you know what I say is true. I’m simply calling you on it.
And, I am challenging you. I challenge you to prove me wrong.
For seven days, I want you to replace your problem with positive thoughts about yourself.
This does not mean don’t eat. In fact, the best thing to do is eat five smaller meals a day. I don’t need to give you a diet plan. You can just Google five small meals a day. I just did it. Click that link.
Do not tell yourself you are going to start in a few days. You have to get ready.
Bullshit. Don’t lie to me, and don’t lie to yourself.
Do. It. Now.
Whenever you have a thought or a stress, replace it with a positive thought. I can’t give you every possible scenario. I simply don’t know what your situation is. But I can help you with some of the things that trigger my stresses. It will be your job to tailor them to you.
1. I am feeling stressed out at the moment. If my kid doesn’t stop whining, I’m going to snap. I need something to eat.
Stop. Drink a full glass of water. Full means at minimum, eight ounces. I drink at least 12 ounces. Then, replace that thought with this: These are children. I am the adult. I am in control of this situation. By eating, or taking a drink or a pill, I take the control away from the adult, me, and I give it to the child.
Does it make sense to allow a child or children to push us so far that we actually harm our bodies?
2. My co-worker is a tool. Where is the snack machine?
a. Seriously? Again, the first thing to do is drink water. I have found that by drinking water, about 90% of the time it cures my hunger or emotional pang. When it doesn’t, I move on to something with some protein. The very best thing, at least for me, is either 20-30 single peanuts or almonds, cashews, etc., or if you are allergic or otherwise do not like nuts, some other form of protein. Just keep it reasonable. You know what reasonable is. It’s different for every person, but if you grab a pound of roast beef, that’s unreasonable. Eat a very small portion. Or eat a piece of cheese. About an ounce or two.
If you are between meals, you will be very surprised at how when you stop, drink some water, and replace a high-calorie snack like a candy bar, or other salty fattening snack, with a simple, small portion of protein, that quickly the urge to binge goes away.
Then replace your anger or feeling of worthlessness with a positive message. Tell yourself that, at the very worst of times, you could always start looking for another job. Maybe the change of scenery would actually be healthier for you. I spoke with a man who worked for the same company for 20 years. His stress level and waist size were huge. He had this awakening one day. He told himself, no more being pushed around. He looked for a new job, landed his dream job, in fact, and lost 110 pounds. He’s happy, healthy, and makes almost twice the money he did before.
That’s the worst-case scenario. Not too bad, huh.
Again, I can’t begin to know what it is that is your trigger. But we can all agree that the way we are coping with it is wrong.
By letting food or addiction win, we do nothing but lose. It’s time to stop losing. It’s time to quit lying to ourselves.
As I continue to search for answers to why I overeat, I am faced with the realization that I may actually have to make some tough choices in my life. Choices that I have just simply tabled, so that I can avoid any unpleasantness that goes along with the aftermath of my decisions.
My soul aches to be thin, again. My mind screams out in pain, as I stay calm on the outside as I see others judge me. I cry, sometimes, at night to myself for becoming what I always feared I might become. A mundane and ordinary human being, with feelings of worthlessness and an utter lack of emotional stability.
I have given in to the demon inside that has told me for years to simply let things be. Don’t make those tough choices, even for myself. Allow myself to be eaten inside by food and feelings of grave denial and an insoluble, unquenchable thirst to simply fade away.
Take your step today. Join me. Tell yourself that you are worth something. If you feel that you have no worth, contact me. I’ll help you get through it. I don’t have all the answers. I’m still learning them myself.
But I can tell you that by taking the steps that I have, by telling myself that no more will I allow others or food or any other addiction to beat me, I have begun to emerge from my self-exile. I have started to rise again and tell myself that life is worth it. It’s a journey. Each and every day brings new challenges. Each and every day brings new triumphs.
I am in control of me.
And you are in control of you.
Now, do something about it.