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A Baseball Blogger’s Day Off (At Jacobs Field)

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Ed Rooney: “What is so dangerous about a character like Ferris Bueller is he gives good kids bad ideas. The last thing I need at this point in my career is 1,500 Ferris Bueller disciples running around these halls. He jeopardizes my ability to effectively govern this student body.”

Grace: “Well, makes you look like an ass is what he does, Ed.”

Hey, kids, the Cleveland Indians have done it again: With a stupendous sweep of those Detroit Motor City Kitties down at Jacobs Field in a fateful weekday series, the Tribe is one baby-step closer to clinching the AL Central!

With all due respect to my sports editor here at Thunderdome, I truly do not wish his beloved Tigers any ill-will: That’s saved up for the whining Red Sox, the over-hyped New York Yankees… and the ESPN anchors who love them.

In fact, nothing would give me more pleasure than having the Detroit Tigers yank the Wild Card away from those damn Yankees with one-fell (rather large) swoop. But one “small victory” at a time, eh, Chief Chirpa?

I was able to play “Ferris Bueller” during an afternoon game as I sat “up in the rafters” (more like Batman) and watched my beloved Cleveland Indians fuel ALL of my multiple personalities with another miraculous win.  Needless to say, it’s a beautiful thing, huh, Gotham City?

C.C. Sabathia has become the jewel of the Cuyahoga Nile – delivering another fantastic performance for the fans of the Indians who decided (as well) to “take the day off” here in Cleveland to cheer on their tremendous Tribe.

I seem to remember a certain Mike Greenberg (of ESPN's Mike and Mike in the Morning) predicting weeks (months?) ago that the Tigers were “a lock” to win the Central division.  Oh my, how times – and clairvoyance – have changed!

So, ESPN: “Do you have a kiss for daddy?”

Yeah, sure, I know: The Indians are not out of the woods (or Homeroom) yet. The dreaded Yankees have the bloated payroll and “the big bats” – and the Boston Red Sox (seemingly) are “the complete MLB package.” But, it’s still fun to dream (my little dream) in my own personal “Field of Dreams” down on the corner of Ontario Street in Cleveland – no matter what “the voices” in the corporate cornfield are telling me.

“I've never had to knock on wood …But I know someone who has… Which makes me wonder if I could… ?  It makes me wonder if I should… ?” — The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

So, pending some unfortunate outcome (like “the ESPN Empire” freezing this upstart solo blogger in carbonite, while I‘m recklessly ranting from Cloud City), the Cleveland Indians are going to the playoffs in October: Wahoo!

But how can you NOT be excited about a team that wields a “rebel force” like Travis Hafner, Grady Sizemore, Victor Martinez, C.C. Sabathia, Casey Blake (wait, who?), Joe Borowski – and the such?

Regardless, I’m “taking the day off” from all the national naysayers and enjoying this miraculous moment – like an ice-cold “Holy Moses” beer from The Great Lakes Brewing Company in the meantime.

So, again, maybe the Cleveland Indians will get knocked off by the “bigger guys” in the MLB henhouse on the road to the World Series. Sure, maybe this "small market Tribe” does not have the same firepower that is constantly being wielded by their larger-market foes – while the “national media pimps” cackle like a shameless flock of Alfred Hitchcock‘s birds in the background.

But, really, like a Master's degree in Pop Culture, who cares? The Cleveland Indians are playing the best damn baseball of their existence (in my sorry lifetime, anyway) – and, for at least today, everyone down at “the Jake” was there to witness it – right here, in the best location in the nation!

To quote “Cameron” from Ferris Beuller’s Day Off:  “I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I'm going to take a stand. I'm going to defend it. Right or wrong, I'm going to defend it." So, now, let’s see if all "the hairdos" over at ESPN have the fortitude to do the same if (and when) their beloved big market teams "bite the big one" in the end?  Doubt it.

Go Tribe!

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About Chris McVetta

Chris McVetta is a writer and comedian from Cleveland, Ohio. He is a graduate from Cleveland State University and an alumni of The Second City comedy writing program. His first job in journalism was as an Editorial Assistant working with Harvey Pekar ("American Splendor") at The Free Times. Most recently, his was invited to speak at the Ray Browne conference on Pop Culture at Bowling Green State University.
  • The Haze

    I can remember taking a bus trip to Municipal Stadium as a boy to watch “Sudden” Sam McDowell and Max Alvis play ball. The opening game between the “Stankees” and the Tribe was always an affair to remember. My buddy is a typical “Stankee” fan.(gag!!)One year we’d sit on Cleveland’s side,the next year in”enemy territory”.I can still feel the air in my face as Dave Winfield hit those damn line drive home runs that killed us!Last time out we were one out away. let’s see what the “Erie Warriors” are made of! GO TRIBE!!!!!

  • Matthew T. Sussman

    So, a Masters in Pop Culture makes you able to recite the entire Ferris Bueller quote database?

    Then I just have the GED.

  • Igor’s Hunch

    The girly-men of Esquire this week had the Indians on their Hot Top 100 list this week proclaiming (gasp) the Tribe was FOR REAL..

    Wow! What a BOLD prediction…in MID-SEPTEMBER…with 2 weeks left in the regular season. I think they should stick to Prada and half-naked boys..

    Um, before you ask, I just read Esquire for the sports articles ..okay?

  • The Haze

    There not chuckling at us now! We just corralled the Central!

  • Chris McVetta

    I think Mike Greenberg just found a fly in his matzo ball soup! But, that’s okay …because I just found a slice of orange in my Belgian ale!

    ESPN Rule #1: “Never talk about Fight Club!”