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3 films stand out in a swamp of suckiness

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Although its still summer, this is a horrible time of year for films. As I look down the list of movies being released soon, almost nothing excites me. Dickie Roberts looks pathetic. The Order is a joke. Cabin Fever, maybe. Cold Creek Manor looks like it might surprise us, but the marketing isn’t doing a good enough job to get me in line for it. Matchstick Men like many of Nick Cage’s film is hit or miss. The list of yawners goes on and on. Yet, in the midst of the mediocrity 3 films have grabbed my attention. Once Upon a Time in Mexico has one of the best trailers I’ve seen for a film in a long time. For Antonio’s sake, I hope the actual film is at least half as good, his career needs a boost. Underworld has me drooling at the mouth! Vampires vs. Werewolves! This is going to make Freddy vs. Jason (which was boring) look like the Cabbage Patch Kids vs. My Pretty Pony. The third on my list is Jeepers Creepers 2. The origional Jeepers Creepers was a gem that most people missed out on. To this day it is still my favorite 80’s style horror film of all time.

So what films are you looking forward to in the next couple of months?

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About John

  • The novel of Matchstick Men was quite good, although I was able to figure out the twist at the end pretty early on. I’m not sure how closely the movie sticks to the book though.

  • My impression from the TV spot of Matchstick Men was that Nic Cage could probably do a pretty good job playing a con man character.

  • I too am looking forward to Underworld. People say it’s a Matrix-like ripoff, but what special-effects inspired movies aren’t now-a-days? When I first saw the trailer to Once Upon A Time In Mexico, the first thought that came to my head was, “Desparado 2?” However, upon seeing more recent previews on TV, it actually looks very interesting, plus Johnny Depp usually chooses good movies to act in.

    Anything Else with Christina Ricci and Jason Biggs looks interesting.

    Then there’s Kill Bill and School of Rock, but those are out in October so that’s not really summer flickish.

  • John, I dunno about Dickie Roberts, it might be OK. The wife and I both thought Joe Dirt was going to blow chunks, but it turned out to be an OK flick. David Spade’s dry, sardonic wit is really lacking without Chris Farley.

  • Oh my, TDavid. Ummm did you just say that “Joe Dirt” was an ok flick? Wow, you’re the first person I’ve heard say that. I hated that film with a deep and abiding hatred. Which is too bad since I liked David Spade before I saw it. But then again I guess that’s the beautiful thing about film, it’s all subjective

  • Yeah, “ok” as in not good, not bad, but OK. Better than a stick in the eye, John, LOL. Like I said, Spade’s sarcastic humor needs somebody to play off of and therefore isn’t very good as a solo comedian. He’s too dry. At least in Dickie it looks like he’s going to play off a halfway decent script (child actor who grows up to face actor obscurity)

    I also disagree with your assessment that Freddy vs. Jason was boring (see my full review here). I suppose in parts it was, but if you compare that to that godawful piece of trash that was Jason X, it’s worlds better.

    I think one’s mood can contribute to how well he/she is going to like a particular piece, don’t you?

  • John, I just went looking to see if I was completely in left field on Joe Dirt.

    I just checked out Amazon and Joe Dirt has received 3 1/2 stars from 76 different reviewers.

    Mr Cranky who hates just about everything, rated it three bombs, which is also about middle of the road (based on his scale anyway).

    Rotten Tomatoes, on the other hand, completely slayed the flick (10%, yikes!). So the major media critics seem to agree with your assessment, but I don’t usually go to movies or buy DVDs based upon what the major critics like Leonard Maltin, Ebert, etc have to say.

  • Robert

    You simply have to be kidding me here. Jeepers Creepers, a good movie? I saw it, and less than half an hour in, the whole theatre was actively heckling the movie. It was like “Mystery Science Theater 3000” with 100 people. Rotten Tomatoes gives it an average of 43% (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/JeepersCreepers-1109558/); if that’s a good movie, or even a moderately scary one, then I wouldn’t reccommend seeing any Hitchcock movies (Psycho, The Birds, etc.), as they are so well-done that you’d probably have a heart attack right in the theatre. Or watch George Romero’s “Night of the Living Dead” or “Day of the Dead” to see real psychological suspense. Heck, even Danny Boyle’s “28 Days Later” was a better horror flick than “Jeepers Creepers”. Movies like THAT are made by the type of people who think “I Know What You Did Last Summer” was taut, scary and well-executed (no pun intended). Really, truly great horror/suspense comes from people who really, truly know what they’re doing; not Hollywood hacks who grind out scripts left and right. “Jeepers Creepers” is an offense to theatre-goers everywhere; its sequel cannot possibly hope to live up to its predecessor’s tepid, mediocre scare-factor.

  • Please note Robert, that I said Jeepers Creepers is my favorite 80’s style horror film. By 80’s style I reffer to brainless shock/gore theatre fun. I agree that this is not a film made by a horror master. But, as an 80’s style horror, I thought it carried itself well. But as I always say, the beautiful thing about film is that it’s all subjective. Have a good one, and keep writing.

  • ldg

    Underworld looks hell’a good despite the Matrix connections, but so what?! http://nychen.com/underworld

    i’m looking forward to Kill Bill, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Cold Mountain, The Human Stain and of course, Matrix Revolutions.

    check the Sept 4th issue of EW for a huge inside look on the upcoming movies for 2003.

  • Jeremie

    Once upon a time… is the sequel to desperado by the way, which is also a sequel to an older spanish movie.

  • Looks like Dickie Roberts wasn’t exactly “pathetic” in its opening, anyway, earning top billing. But even the article admits that 7 million for any opening was mediocre.

    I was just watching an AOL video reel and David Spade they had to call 100 ex child stars to get 30 to be in the movie.