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2007 MLB Divisional Series Predictions, While Being Heckled

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Why, why on earth would you do this again?

Simply put, because I feel like it.

Okay, GREAT reason. Let’s see OJ Simpson try that defense in court.

After Monday’s 13-inning classic between the Rockies and Padres, I officially have the taste for playoff baseball.

Agreed! We all do. Now, stick to the topic about the beauty of postseason baseball, pray the Yankees choke, and we’ll be fine.

You’re not my editor.

So our eight playoff teams are set to square off Wednesday. Well, six of them, at least. The Indians and Yankees begin Thursday. So just who do I think will win these series?

Nobody effin’ asked you, and we don’t care.

Hey, everyone else is doing it.

Well, you’re just a fountain of ironclad excuses today.

Why do you care anyway?

Oh, you don’t remember 2005? When you got EVERY SINGLE PLAYOFF SERIES WRONG in your predictions?

Sure do. This means I can only improve from that.

Yeah, and you said you swore off predictions ever since.

But I got the last two NBA Finals right!

Wow, Heat over Mavericks and Spurs over Cavaliers. Kreskin wants to know your secret.

Put a lid on it, I have a good feeling about this.

Again, something OJ probably said in the Palace Station hotel.

Let’s start off with the Philadelphia Phillies and Colorado Rockies. Both of these teams were extremely hot, but the Philles are hot and slightly more rested. I’m taking the Phillies in four games.

0-for-1 already, champ. Playoffs aren’t about getting rest. It’s a frenetic month, and the Rockies’ adrenaline surge from Monday night will last for at least another week, which is plenty of time to eke out three wins over Philadelphia against pitchers not named Cole Hamels. Rockies in five.

Jamie Moyer is 3-1 in career postseason play. He’ll win Game 3.

In the other NL playoff series, Chicago Cubs-Arizona Diamondbacks, we have two very surprising teams who came out of nowhere. But I have to go straight to my bias on this one. I’m a D’backs fan, and therefore I must side with them, who win this one in five games.

So you openly admit your bias, which blinds you from the fact that the Cubs have better starting pitching? Isn’t that the whole reason you picked Philly in the other series? Cubs take out the Snakes’ ace with their own, and go on to sweep.

I have a feeling you’re just going to disagree with me on every series here.

Not necessarily.

Oh, I think so.

But you’re wrong in thinking so.

Do you really think you’re funny? This schtick was already done by Monty Python.

Maybe so, but I came up with it independently of The Argument Clinic.

I’m ignoring you.

Moving over to the AL, The Cleveland Indians-New York Yankees series is a tough one to pick. Top to bottom, the Indians are a much better team, but the Yankees just have this mojo that helps them at the right time. Plus, Alex Rodriguez is completely due for an amazing series. I’d hate to see this happen, but the Yankees win in four.

Okay, first I was just annoyed at you for making predictions, but now I’m disgusted in you. The Yankees mojo? This isn’t the ’90s anymore. They haven’t won anything this milennium. Most of the players from that championship team have retired or moved on. Their mojo is more outdated than that of the Angels, Red Sox, and Diamondbacks — all playoff teams this year who have won World Series more recent than the Yankees. The Indians starting pitching will nullify Jeter, A-Rod, and the rest of that normally dangerous lineup with their dual Cy Young candidates, C.C. Sabathia and Fausto Carmona. Add in home field advantage, and the Indians win this one in five.

But Cleveland’s 0-6 against New York this year. I’m just going by what I’ve seen.

Yeesh, these Tigers fans can sure get bitter.

Ah, shaddup.

Finally, we get to the Boston Red Sox-Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Simply put, nobody has pitched better than Boston, and only one other playoff team (New York) has scored more runs. Red Sox in four.

I shouldn’t be surprised that you so quickly write off a powerful West coast team, yet I am. John Lackey would be a unanimous choice for the Cy Young if he played in the Eastern time zone. He’ll have a great year in the postseason. So quickly you forget he won a World Series Game 7 in his lifetime. He’s by far a better pitcher than Josh Beckett, and the Angels’ Game 1 victory will lead them to a sweep of the buffoons in Boston.

You are aware that Beckett has also won a clinching World Series game in his career, right?

Hey now, that was a long time ago.

And I’m sure OJ Simpson has used THAT defense too.

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About Suss

  • http://www.roblogpolitics.blogspot.com RJ

    Philly in 5

    Cubs win! Cubs win! in 5

    I hate to say it, but … well actually, I hate both teams … Cleveland in 4

    Boston in 4

  • rockieswin

    Wow. you are awful at this…

  • http://www.roblogpolitics.blogspot.com RJ

    Cubs lose! Cubs lose! … in 3 …

  • http://www.futonreport.net/ Matthew T. Sussman

    In a best-of-five crapshoot, four coin flips will yield two right answers, and therefore hobo nickels just as intelligent as anyone predicting these games.

    Exhibit A: Me

    Exhibit B: RJ

  • http://www.roblogpolitics.blogspot.com RJ

    Well…I was 2 for 2 in the American League! :-/